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Skippy
forum expert



United Kingdom
3290 Posts

Posted - 02 November 2011 :  15:09:59  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Sorry, your last post wasn't there when I posted. Is the gym membership coming out of your bank account or your partner's account? If it's yours I would politely explain this to the OR.

To be honest I would wait until you have calmed down before you speak to the OR. Being rude and making personal comments isn't going to get you anywhere.

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.

Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side.
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Gregorygoyle28
Starting Member

13 Posts

Posted - 02 November 2011 :  15:13:02  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Traceyjr

As I said before, I don't understand. You say the OR won't allow you to have gym membership but I don't know how or why they know about it. Providing you pay your fair share towards the household expenditure the rest of your money is yours to spend as you want.

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.

Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side.


That's exactly what I thought!! But that's not how it is apparently... She is telling us EXACTLY what we can and can't spend out money on, and it is REALLY starting to annoy me! Did no-one else get told this then? I'm starting to think we just have an evil manipulative OR... I'm just looking forward to this meeting on Friday... I AM going to tell her exactly what I think of this whole situation, whether it works or whether it doesn't. I love Rob, just not in that way anymore, but that doesn't mean I want to see him suffer, and nor will I.
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Gregorygoyle28
Starting Member

13 Posts

Posted - 02 November 2011 :  15:15:29  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Traceyjr

Sorry, your last post wasn't there when I posted. Is the gym membership coming out of your bank account or your partner's account? If it's yours I would politely explain this to the OR.

To be honest I would wait until you have calmed down before you speak to the OR. Being rude and making personal comments isn't going to get you anywhere.

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.

Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side.


I know lol, I've just been blasting away regardless!
I know it's not a good idea to go in there all guns ablazing, it's never helped in the past, and it's not going to now. To be honest, just ranting on here has calmed me down A LOT, the anger and rage has turned into annoyance and resentment, and I'm sure that come Friday I'll have mellowed a bit...
You know how it is though, sometimes you just need a BIG FAT rant!!

**and the gym membership is coming out of my account...

Edited by - Gregorygoyle28 on 02 November 2011 15:16:06
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Skippy
forum expert



United Kingdom
3290 Posts

Posted - 02 November 2011 :  15:20:03  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I do understand the need to rant! If I was you, I would take a deep breath and write down what you've put here (minus the swearing and personal comments ) so that when you speak to the OR you've got all the facts in front of you.

My OH wasn't BR and I was never asked what he spent his money on. I told the OR what his contribution was and whatever was left was his to spend as he wanted.

Fingers crossed there has been a misunderstanding!

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.

Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side.
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xmas baby
Average Member



537 Posts

Posted - 03 November 2011 :  10:35:01  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I'm sorry, but surely the OR is only asking you to contribute to housekeeping (food, utility bills) and not anything else? If after contributing to this you have no money left, then that is not the fault of the OR. I understand that you do not earn very month each month, but you would still have to pay for living costs, with or without your partner. You say that you don't love your partner but you feel sorry for him, but is that really a good enough reason to stay with them? I think you have to seriously think about your future. Sorry if I sound judgemental. I really don't intend to, but you are obviously not happy the way things are. By the way, there are plenty of other ways to keep fit which don't include expensive gym memberships. I think that if I was earning £140 a month, the last thing I would want to spend my valuable earnings on is a £50 gym membership.

Good luck and I hope it all works out for you in the end.

xmas baby
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