| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| DeeperDown |
Posted - 14 July 2008 : 00:19:35
I'm sorry the title of this post is vague - but right now its just one more thing I didn't have a clue about. To be honest I don't even know if this is in the right forum.
I'm 34. I've been in one form of debt or another since I was a student. Back in those days we used to get grants so I was fine until I finished my first degree. I had a small overdraft (£500) and the moment I finished my course my bank sent me a nasty letter demanding I repaid. From that moment on everything went downhill. I obtained a credit card to repay that debt. It was so easy I obtained another to "treat" myself. By the time I had a job I had four or five and to clear them I took out a bank loan. I paid the cards off - but made the mistake of keeping them. So of course the moment I was broke - I went back to them.
It seems so long ago that all this happened. Since then my life has taken a downward spiral after I developed mental health issues. Things got so bad I tried to take my own life. The debt was part of it - but there are other issues. Things that I couldn't talk about here.
So - where am I? I'm 34. I have God knows how many debts with God knows how many creditors. Off hand I think maybe £10,000 with seven or eight. Two banks (I am sure of those) and however many credit card firms. The reason I don't know exactly what I owe is that I stopped answering the letters and calls over three years ago. I couldn't handle it and I fell apart. These days they don't even come through my door anymore. It must be six months or more since I heard anything from anyone.
The thing is I am just starting the road back. I've been on incapacity benefit for nearly two years with depression and mild signs of a more serious mental illnesses. After months of waiting I have finally been allocated a psychotherapist and I am now trying to rebuild my life. But I can't do that while I know that those debts are out there - just waiting to jump on me and send me back down. If I am going to recover - I need to tackle those issues while I tackle my other problems.
So - where do I go? I have no assets. No car. No real possessions. Literally nothing. Anything I did have went when my brain decided it had had enough. I imploded and my life went with me. These days I live back at home with my parents and they pretty much keep me. The only money I have coming in is my incapacity benefit and most of that gets given to them to pay for light, heat and food. The remainder pays for travel to see my GP and therapist. However to be honest my illness makes it hard to leave the house so I don't really need much else anyway.
If anyone here has any advice for me I would be grateful. I'm about to start the hardest fight of my life. To try and become what I used to be. To rejoin society and hopefully banish my illness - and my debts.
Should I apply for bankruptcy? I will almost certainly not be in any position to get loans or mortgages in the future anyway. Is that the way out? Or should I try to contact the creditors who have stopped ringing and hope they understand? But what can I offer if they do? I literally have nothing I actually own myself except my clothes. Everything else I use on a day to day basis belongs to my parents. My fear is that they will attempt to classify my parent's belongings as mine because I live with them. After all they have been through - all they have done for me - I couldn't face that happening to them. It would just about be the final straw. Right now they don't even know about the debts.
I really don't have any idea where to go or what to do. Does anyone else have any idea?
DeeperDown |
| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Trolly-Dolly |
Posted - 16 July 2008 : 10:25:46
And remember there is no rush. One day and one step at a time. You are the one in control now, so do things your way.
You can read my blog here;
http://drowningmummy.blogs.iva.co.uk/ |
| DeeperDown |
Posted - 16 July 2008 : 01:06:32
Again thank you for all your replies. It was especially interesting to read your story drowning-mummy. Hearing from someone who is going through this at the same time - someone who still finds time to type a response - it means a lot. I do hope everything works out for you.
I have to say the more I think about it the more I think I will take this option. I do worry about calling people though, no matter how nice they are, because I have nothing to offer in return. I've looked at some of the sites linked from here and thought about picking up the phone - but somehow I'd feel I was cheating people using the services. These people have to make a living to - and all I could do is take up their time and effort with no realistic chance of being able to take up their professional services. It seems wrong.
I guess the next stage is to take the step I have dreaded for the last few years - finding out what I actually owe. At some point this week I have to take the excellant advice above and query Experian to find out the exact details. I must confess when that letter arrives I don't know how I'll react. But it has to happen at some point.
So - courage in hands - time to start the process.
DD |
| melanie_giles |
Posted - 15 July 2008 : 23:48:37
Given that the amount of stress and worry you appear to be experiencing, it might be beneficial to contact one of the bankruptcy specialists who post on this site to see if they can help you. I gather than they can attend Court with you and your meeting with the Official Receiver if you want them to.
Personally I know and have worked with Paul Johns of Reviva on a number of occasions and can recommend his services, but there are a couple of other experts who are also regular posters and it is probably worth a call to set your mind at rest.
For an informal chat about any financial difficulties, or advice as to the options available, I can be contacted via my website - www.melaniegiles.com |
| Trolly-Dolly |
Posted - 15 July 2008 : 22:48:08
Please, please, please, do not apologise. We are all here to help one another and to restore some faith in mankind. Goodness if you could have read some of my posts over on the IVA forum six weeks. I was at breaking point.
I just want to say that your thread has really touched me and I commend you for having the courage to get your life back. At 34 you are still young enough to do that and to finally have the life that you so deserve. You are clearly an articulate and intelligent person, so just keep with it and never be afraid to ask for help. Your parents love you unconditionally, thats what parents do. I am 36 and mum to young babies and I woul die for them. Simple. A debt would be immaterial.
So in answer to your questions:
I believe that a judge will make you BR. You are technically insolvent now and have no way to pay the debts, therefore BR is your only option at present.
Yes the OR will investigate but wont involve your parents. I envisage that they will be sympathetic to your plight and help you all you can.
Dont worry about things that you cannot answer. It was a long time ago and you have been through the wars. If I were you, I would print this thread off and let the OR see it. You have been honest and have admitted that you find interviews etc difficult and may get tongue tied. no harm in letting them read it if they so wish.
Whatever you do I would recommend that you continue to post on here. We may not be your therapist, but we do actually know what you are going through and will give you so much help.
I truly wish you all the best and dont be stranger.
You can read my blog here;
http://drowningmummy.blogs.iva.co.uk/ |
| DeeperDown |
Posted - 15 July 2008 : 22:00:27
Thank you again for all those who have answered so far. I do intend to call the hotline tomorrow but I find it easy to get confused when I am speaking on the phone so I want to clarify a few points here so I can see the answers in black and white.
To update my situation I have now spoken about my problem to my family and, as expected, they were nothing but sympathetic. No doubt I have now given them one more thing to worry about but at least are now aware of the full story.
I am now inclined to move forward and file for bankruptcy purely because I have so little to lose. However the moment I start to feel better about the situation my brain invents possible problems - its part of who I am. For this reason I hope some of you can answer the following questions and put my mind at ease;
1. How likely is it that a judge would find a reason to refuse to grant me bankruptcy? I have been trying to read up on what happens and it seems they could consider you have not made enough of an effort to avoid it. It could be easily argued that I have done nothing but hide away for the past five years and cried. Also given my current mental condition could they even argue I am not in a fit mental state to make a reasoned decision about it? The fact is my parents will most likely end up paying for the claim - if it fails all I will have done is cost them yet more money for nothing. How often is bankruptcy refused?
2. I understand if and when I was made bankrupt I would be required to meet with the official receiver afterwards. I am concerned he would ask me questions which I could not answer. I don't want to look like I am concealing anything but some days I can barely form a coherent sentence. If I was due a meeting on one of those days - how would they react?
3. I assume that the receiver would then conduct a full investigation into my financial affairs. I have nothing to hide there so it wouldn't concern me. But would he also have the power to check into the affairs of those who have lived with me? I wouldn't feel comfortable exposing my parents to checks and investigations. I can't think they would have anything to hide either and I am sure they wouldn't object - but it would make me a lot less comfortable about making the claim in the first place. As if I was punishing them one more time for my mistakes.
Hopefully I have kept this post a little bit more on topic and posed some sensible questions rather than engaged in self pity.
DD |
| JulianDonnelly |
Posted - 14 July 2008 : 17:02:22
Hi DeeperDown,
Again, please feel free to use the helpline. You'll find them very understanding, and quite a few of them have been through what you are going through. You are not on your own!
Regards
Julian Donnelly
Spokesperson for www.Bankruptcyhelp.org.uk |
| DeeperDown |
Posted - 14 July 2008 : 16:03:58
Thank you.
I really don't want anyone to worry. I struggle to handle day to day living but I do have people around me to help. Its just a case of getting over my fear of telling them. I also have my therapist if things take a severe turn for the worst.
I guess I just need to knwo my options so when I do let people in I am able to explain to them my various choices. I may even print out this thread and use it.
If I go quiet its most likely because I have become confused or that the whole issue has left me unable to converse rationally. Its one of the symptoms of my illness. But I will keep looking in and will report back when I finally decide what to do. |
| admin |
Posted - 14 July 2008 : 15:50:17
Hi DeeperDown
Debt leads to so many horrible situations and you are very welcome to continue posting, don't worry if it seems off the point, its all relevant to the whole debt situation.
We all want to know that you are coping OK, so do keep in touch  or we will be worried about you,
admin |
| JulianDonnelly |
Posted - 14 July 2008 : 14:28:16
Great advice Eamonn!
Regards
Julian Donnelly
Spokesperson for www.Bankruptcyhelp.org.uk |
| eamonn |
Posted - 14 July 2008 : 14:27:20
try to stay strong and talk to your parents i'm sure they will be understanding and will help all they can
all the best eamonn |
| DeeperDown |
Posted - 14 July 2008 : 14:14:00
Thank you.
Over the last half an hour I've pretty much had another mental collapse. I thought I could cope with this but I don't think I can. The only thing I can think of is to finally admit my situation to my parents and see if they can help me through the process. I feel a total failure. I've dreaded the day things would get this bad. I'm sure its only going to make their lives even harder. But without them I wouldn't get past the first stage of claiming.
Thank you all for you advice. I will use it as best I can. But I don't want to risk turning a debt thread into a mental health one. I'll check back later for any further replies - but probably won't continue to respond. So i'll thank anyone who replies after this post in advance. |
| eamonn |
Posted - 14 July 2008 : 14:00:10
hi deeperdown
youmay be able to improve your finances by claiming disabillity living allowance which you can still claim even if you are working
the benefits enquiry line number is 0800 882200 just ask them to send a dla claim pack, i am not sure but i think you can claim on line as well just do not know the links,ihopethis is ofsome helpand that you are able to sort out your student loans good luck |
| JulianDonnelly |
Posted - 14 July 2008 : 13:41:33
Great advice as usual Suzanne.
Regards
Julian Donnelly
Spokesperson for www.Bankruptcyhelp.org.uk |
| Suzanne |
Posted - 14 July 2008 : 13:19:09
Hi
You apply for your credit file from Experion for a cost of £2 and this will list all the debts registered against you currant and previous addresses.
If you are unable to pay your student loan then nothing changes, and I believe after a period of time they write it off anyway, but you would need to check that out.
Suzanne Stocker
Bankruptcy Manager
Jones Giles Ltd
www.jonesgiles.co.uk
|
| DeeperDown |
Posted - 14 July 2008 : 13:15:58
Thank you both for your help.
I've been reading and trying to get some more information and I think I have come across two stumbling blocks. Firstly the fact that I have no idea who I owe money to or how much. At some point I assume I will need to fill out a list of my creditors, but its been so long since any have been in touch - I really wouldn't know where to begin.
The second problem is that until I read about not being able to include a student loan I didn't even remember I had one. That must sound insane but at its worst my illness was so overpowering I literally cut a section of my life out of my mind. I know I stopped claiming deferment a few years ago, and due to my illness I've never earned enough to actually have to start paying. I simply don't know what to do about that. If I include it on my list of creditors would the bankruptcy claim fail? Or would it just be excluded? And how will the Student Loans Company react? As far as they are concerned I have disappeared off the face of the Earth and suddenly here I would be filing for bankruptcy. Should I contact them before any claim and discuss the situation and my illness? Or should I wait until it has gone through? Will they care at all that the only reason I didn't claim the deferment I could have claimed was my complete inability to handle life full stop?
I was as near to happy as I ever get last night. I thought I'd worked out a way to move past one of the obstacles to my recovery. Sadly a night of worrying and a morning with other thoughts running through my mind has left me wondering if I have the mental strength to do this at all.
I think I will take up that offer and call the helpline. |
