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| Gregorygoyle28 |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 13:09:30
Argghhh soo angry! Need to get a massive rant off my chest. I've just been told that I can't join a gym because the OR won't allow it. I'm not even going bankrupt its my partner. I'm not going to use his money to pay for it, I'm using mine. Why the **** do they think they have the right to tell me whether I can join a gym or not, god I'm so ****** off! At the end of the day, I go to college 5 days a week, and then work all day Saturday and Sunday and through all my holidays. It's not my fault my boyfriends gone bankrupt so why the hell should I pay for it as well? Call me selfish if you like but I really don't care! We're struggling as it is, if they think they can tell me what I can spend MY money on they've got another thing coming. Maybe if I was earning £600 a day then I could understand. But I'm actually getting paid LESS than I would if I was on benefits!! I'm ringing her on Monday and telling the stupid ***** what I think of her, and if she tries to tell me that my salary has to be taken into account then God help her... she hasn't seen the wrath of Fran!!
Have they even got the right to tell me what I can spend MY money on... as if it isn't stressful enough trying to support someone through the whole bankruptcy process as it is. I'm actually shaking with rage!!
Anyways, cheers for listening! I just wanted to get this rant off my chest!
Hope you're all not too stressed :)
xx |
| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| xmas baby |
Posted - 03 November 2011 : 10:35:01
I'm sorry, but surely the OR is only asking you to contribute to housekeeping (food, utility bills) and not anything else? If after contributing to this you have no money left, then that is not the fault of the OR. I understand that you do not earn very month each month, but you would still have to pay for living costs, with or without your partner. You say that you don't love your partner but you feel sorry for him, but is that really a good enough reason to stay with them? I think you have to seriously think about your future. Sorry if I sound judgemental. I really don't intend to, but you are obviously not happy the way things are. By the way, there are plenty of other ways to keep fit which don't include expensive gym memberships. I think that if I was earning £140 a month, the last thing I would want to spend my valuable earnings on is a £50 gym membership.
Good luck and I hope it all works out for you in the end.
xmas baby |
| Skippy |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 15:20:03
I do understand the need to rant! If I was you, I would take a deep breath and write down what you've put here (minus the swearing and personal comments  ) so that when you speak to the OR you've got all the facts in front of you.
My OH wasn't BR and I was never asked what he spent his money on. I told the OR what his contribution was and whatever was left was his to spend as he wanted.
Fingers crossed there has been a misunderstanding!
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/
Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.
Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side. |
| Gregorygoyle28 |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 15:15:29
quote:
Originally posted by Traceyjr
Sorry, your last post wasn't there when I posted. Is the gym membership coming out of your bank account or your partner's account? If it's yours I would politely explain this to the OR.
To be honest I would wait until you have calmed down before you speak to the OR. Being rude and making personal comments isn't going to get you anywhere.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/
Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.
Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side.
I know lol, I've just been blasting away regardless!
I know it's not a good idea to go in there all guns ablazing, it's never helped in the past, and it's not going to now. To be honest, just ranting on here has calmed me down A LOT, the anger and rage has turned into annoyance and resentment, and I'm sure that come Friday I'll have mellowed a bit...
You know how it is though, sometimes you just need a BIG FAT rant!!
**and the gym membership is coming out of my account... |
| Gregorygoyle28 |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 15:13:02
quote:
Originally posted by Traceyjr
As I said before, I don't understand. You say the OR won't allow you to have gym membership but I don't know how or why they know about it. Providing you pay your fair share towards the household expenditure the rest of your money is yours to spend as you want.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/
Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.
Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side.
That's exactly what I thought!! But that's not how it is apparently... She is telling us EXACTLY what we can and can't spend out money on, and it is REALLY starting to annoy me! Did no-one else get told this then? I'm starting to think we just have an evil manipulative OR... I'm just looking forward to this meeting on Friday... I AM going to tell her exactly what I think of this whole situation, whether it works or whether it doesn't. I love Rob, just not in that way anymore, but that doesn't mean I want to see him suffer, and nor will I. |
| Skippy |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 15:09:59
Sorry, your last post wasn't there when I posted. Is the gym membership coming out of your bank account or your partner's account? If it's yours I would politely explain this to the OR.
To be honest I would wait until you have calmed down before you speak to the OR. Being rude and making personal comments isn't going to get you anywhere.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/
Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.
Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side. |
| Gregorygoyle28 |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 15:09:12
And I know I'm coming accross all nasty, I do not mean it towards you or any other posters in any way, when I'm angry I don't think about how I'm wording things that's all. It's not personal at all, promise 
xx |
| Skippy |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 15:07:48
As I said before, I don't understand. You say the OR won't allow you to have gym membership but I don't know how or why they know about it. Providing you pay your fair share towards the household expenditure the rest of your money is yours to spend as you want.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/
Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.
Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side. |
| Gregorygoyle28 |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 15:06:41
quote:
Originally posted by Traceyjr
I might be missing something here, but how come the OR even knows you were joining the gym?
My partner told the accountant all of our joint expendatures, they've told the OR and she's come back saying that's 'unneccessary expendature'... which is pleasant. Bet she's fat too... sorry! |
| Gregorygoyle28 |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 15:05:00
I lead a simple life, I don't want for anything, apart from to be able to manage my money! I'm not the one in financial difficulties. I help out as much as I possibly can, and don't get much spending money. After bills and my financial commitments (phone - which is capped at £15 a month, transport and college equipment) I have about £30 a month to spare... now I don't think I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill but that is NOTHING!! I do all the cooking, cleaning
and the big supermarket shops (although it doesn't come out of my wages to be fair) because I know I can't help out financially.
I've used all of my savings (£2400) to help pay off some of his bills (BT, electric, water bills, council tax and the oustanding sum of the Sky that was cut off) so I don't think I'm being unreasonable, you can think different if you want I really don't care. But I don't think I'm a selfish ________. Especially compared to all my mates at college who have always had everything done for them. I'm really not trying to feel sorry for myself I am just SO angry at the OR... |
| Skippy |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 14:55:28
I might be missing something here, but how come the OR even knows you were joining the gym?
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/
Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.
Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side. |
| Gregorygoyle28 |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 14:53:20
quote:
Originally posted by Traceyjr
If you are living with this man the OR will expect you to make a pro rata contribution to the household expenses, i.e. if you earn 20% of the household income you will be expected to pay 20% of the expenditure.
At the risk of sounding harsh you really need to sit down with your partner and make some decisions as you obviously don't want to contribute and you say he would be better off if you weren't living there.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/
Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.
Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side.
I'm already contributing! That doesn't bother me. What's bothering me is the fact that the OR can tell me what I can and can't spend my money on. What's it to do with her? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!! I don't think she has the right to tell me how to budget when I've been living on my own for the last 2 years and know EXACTLY how to budget! I don't spend my money on stupid unneccessary things, I know how to spend my money wisely and still have enoguh money to have a good time. My partner is 'allowed' spending money... so why should I have to pick up the pieces when I didn't have anything to do with the situation in the first place! I don't mind paying bills, I've always done it, I'm not spoilt and don't want for much. I'm just angry at the fact they won't let me spend £15 a month for gym membership... how wrong is that?! |
| Skippy |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 14:47:34
If you are living with this man the OR will expect you to make a pro rata contribution to the household expenses, i.e. if you earn 20% of the household income you will be expected to pay 20% of the expenditure.
At the risk of sounding harsh you really need to sit down with your partner and make some decisions as you obviously don't want to contribute and you say he would be better off if you weren't living there.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/
Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.
Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side. |
| Gregorygoyle28 |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 14:39:08
quote:
Originally posted by debtinfo
Hang on just a minute. You earn 140 pm, how can you expect tohavea good social life after you have paid for your rent, bills and living costs, I think you need to prioritise.
And anyway, it's his fault I'm living here. I had really good accomodation THAT I COULD AFFORD before coming here. He knew I wouldn't be able to contribute because at the time I didn't have a job. We'd both be better off if I wasn't living there... |
| Gregorygoyle28 |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 14:35:32
I think the reason I'm so angry is that how many other 18 year olds do you know that would take on a 43 year old man, who's not particularly attractive and has no money. I'm not attracted to him in anyway, which I know sounds harsh, but the whole relationship has fallen apart in my POV, but I'm only staying with him, because he's depressed and stressed at the moment and I don't have the heart to dump him, when he's already in a nasty situation. I know I must sound like a really horrible person here, but I'm (obviously) not with him for his money, and I think the only reason I ever started to go out with him is because I love caring for people (believe it or not!!) and I think it's that is what attracted me to him, rather than actually him if that makes sense. So because I don't feel like I'm actually 'with' him.
And of course I'll pay rent and bills etc, but with a £1450 mortgage, I'm really not in a position to do so! I'll help out as much as I can, but that's not at the expense of me enjoying myself. I'm not ready for that yet... |
| Skippy |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 14:22:08
Gregorygoyle, please stop swearing.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/
Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.
Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side. |
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