| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| ElleB |
Posted - 20 February 2009 : 22:41:56
We were declared bankrupt last week and I really thought I would feel less stressed and brighter in general.
However, I think the enormity of what we have done has just hit me. I am ashamed. I had to tell ex husband I was now bankrupt as I was unable to continue to pay sons car insurance. I got a horrible email from him saying I was a disgrace etc etc. I haven't told my parents as I know the responce will be similar.
I know that finacially bankruptcy was the best thing to do but I am struggling to deal with mental/emotional fallout :(
Pointless post really, sorry. |
| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| wellerchic |
Posted - 27 February 2009 : 16:28:02
Hi
My family too is very supportive and my Mum, who went through all this with me 10 years ago, has been a star.
I too lost my Dad 16th Months ago and did not want to burden my Mum but she would have been more upset if I had not told her.
Just try to keep smiling and try to remember you have taken the hardest step.
G x 
There is light at the end of the tunnel, I can actually see it !!!! |
| xmas baby |
Posted - 27 February 2009 : 15:04:15
Reading many of the stories makes me realise how lucky I have been to have understanding family and friends. They have all been supportive and non judgmental and my mother has been a tower of strength and even encouraged me to go bankrupt when I was dithering about what to do. I'm not saying that everyone would accept it who I know. I don't plan on telling my sister as I know I would get a real ear bashing and she wouldn't be too happy, but at the end of the day, it is me who is going to have to live with the consequences and not her, so why should she be bothered about it. I do feel terrible though at having to tell my mother as she has been through so much in the past year, as my dad passed away. The thing is I tell my mum everything and she has always been a supportive mum and I'm so very lucky to have her.
Easier said than done, I know, but those people who so liberally accuse those of us who are bankrupt and call us names are the ones who should hold their heads in shame. Have they never heard of human compassion?
Keep strong folks!
Keith |
| aapjemaan |
Posted - 22 February 2009 : 08:46:58
For all your ex-husbands apparent fiscal aptitude, he seems the poor person. With an attitude like that he is the disgrace. New start. |
| leahk |
Posted - 21 February 2009 : 23:20:42
When I came out of court last week I kept looking to see if people were staring. I felt different. Did anyone notice? NO! Daft really the only reason they would look at me was because of the way I was looking round at them. |
| givemestrength |
Posted - 21 February 2009 : 21:36:36
ps i hope my OH doesn't read this ive promised it wont be bad. |
| givemestrength |
Posted - 21 February 2009 : 21:34:55
oh my god this friday coming for me, please tell me something positive, its took a long time building up to this. you are right Paul, in the supermarket on friday i kind of said to my self this time next week i'll be BR i wonder if anyone will notice! (probably not) but i felt like telling the checkout operator, hes so canny. i havent even told my mam. |
| pix1 |
Posted - 21 February 2009 : 18:52:52
There is a certain guilt and shame to it.
The important thing is to learn from it. A second bankruptcy would be more shameful than the first time.
It is an up and down process.
It will look better in time and you can philosophise that some people have much wqorse to deal with. Like poor Jade. |
| leahk |
Posted - 21 February 2009 : 17:45:36
BR day was surreal , but its when the guilt and shame come back after. And then the comments.
The grey seems to get very dark before it gets lighter
|
| Reviva UK |
Posted - 21 February 2009 : 17:09:48
I always tell folk that we work with that the afternoon of the court they will feel GREY.
I can't think of a better word for it. It seems surreal and almost everyone expects a spot of public flogging and at least 10 minutes of crucifixion!.
It almost seems a shock that life goes on as normal and the folk in the supermarket smile when they serve you.
Unfortunately there are many myths associated with Br and I am sure that these have been developed by some creditors with a view to avoiding the process at all costs.
Paul Johns
Assisted Bankruptcy Specialists
Reviva UK
http://www.revivauk.com
Real People ..... Real Debt Solutions
www.revivauk.com |
| Skippy |
Posted - 21 February 2009 : 15:18:08
I can understand how you feel. When I went BR the relief was immense, but later on it hit me - I ended up with a migraine and an upset stomach, which I know now was the stress.
The day after I went BR I felt that everyone must know what I'd done - I felt like I had a big cartoon bubble over my head saying 'BANKRUPT! FAILURE!' I know that the only people who knew were the people who I'd told and I only had a couple of negative comments, and I know that they weren't worrying about.
It takes time, but the horrible feelings will go xxx
Tomorrow is a mystery, yesterday is history, today is the present, a gift to make the most of.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.bankruptcyhelp.org.uk/
20 IPA payments made, 16 to go - on the home straight! |
| Melanie.n |
Posted - 21 February 2009 : 15:08:10
I am so horrified by what you had to put up with, well done on keeping your head held high and in being positive, at then end of the day its what you feel and think what counts not this sad individual.
We often used to get phone calls into the ORs from neighbours, did we know so and so has got a new car/new curtains etc (I will admit to telling the person who would not give their name of course.. complaining about their neighbour who had gone bankrupt over a year previously having new curtains and garden seats. . 'to go get a life' i was so incensed the case was a really sad case of illhealth resulting in loss of job and to be honest whether they had new curtains or not was not the neighbours business! I was really angry by the pettiness of the caller. Worst were the ones who would write in but not sign the letters - they used to go straight in the bin, if someone cannot be bothered to put their name we were never bothered to read them!
Hopefully now you are discharged I hope your life continues to improve for you and your loved ones, Melanie
Melanie Nicholas
28 years insolvency experience - 23 of which in the Insolvency Service
- Insolvency Manager
Jones Giles
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| Andrewski |
Posted - 21 February 2009 : 15:06:07
It took me many weeks to come out of a state of semi-shock. I have been lucky to have tremendous support from my wife and a few friends, and a former client now almost only client!
You will get over the trauma and BR is not a disgrace. Honest people will often say there but for the grace of God etc.
Just sharing experiences here and even the sun shining now makes me feel better, and I hope it will for you.
Andrewski |
| Almost there |
Posted - 21 February 2009 : 14:48:51
Good grief, that is absolutely disgusting Jane, you are certainly better off without relatives and so called friends like that. At least you have had the courage to deal with your debts, I wonder if they would! Sandie |
| Jane.l |
Posted - 21 February 2009 : 13:34:49
I too was astounded by the bitterness and nastiness from these 2 people. Obviously they have just shown their true colours although at the time, it was so upsetting, I could not work I was so upset and in the end, I just used to delete the emails they sent me without reading them. |
| givemestrength |
Posted - 21 February 2009 : 13:24:41
hi, i cant beleive ive just read that Jane, they must lead very sad little lives. |
