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bearsndogs
New Member
51 Posts |
 Posted - 30 May 2012 : 16:26:08
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Or does it ever go away?
I am nearing the end of what has been (obviously) a very stressful time - as with many people - but I feel so incredibly guilty that the BR should ever have happened at all, especially as it has resulted in us losing our home. The family have been supportive throughout this time, and have said that none of it was my fault and that it was just one of those things. In fact, it has been said that a "fresh start" could be the best thing. However, I feel that if, maybe, I had been more careful in the first place or, perhaps, sought the appropriate advice, none of it would have happened.
I tried to sort things out myself, but the creditors would have none of it. Having been brought up to fight my own battles, it didn't seem right to involve third parties to do it for me, but in hindsight (what a wonderful thing that it!) I now know that's what I should have done.
However it was approached though, it doesn't take away the guilt, particularly in view of the fact that my husband wasn't made bankrupt.
I don't wish to sound like "oh dear, poor little me", because I know there are people out there in much more serious situations, but equally, there must be many who feel the guilt is all theirs.
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debtinfo
forum expert
2826 Posts |
Posted - 30 May 2012 : 18:15:53
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| Well Guilt is pretty much in your own mind, some people just naturally feel more guilty than others.I dont know your full situation, But i have seen over the years that most bankruptcies are at least in some part the responsibility (i dont like the words fault or blame) of themselves. Often people find it difficult if everyone around them is so forgiving so quickly because they dont feel like they have taken their share of the resposibility. I dont know if that is why you are feeling like you are, but if it is then i would say that it is good to accept your share of the responsibility, To sit down at some point and trace back where is started to go wrong (i know alot of people try not to think about it because it upsets them). That way you can say that is where i went wrong and this is what i can do to make sure it never gets out of hand again, this is what i can do to make sure my family is cared for financially in the future. Bankruptcy is about a fresh start and a second chance and the best thing you can do is to make sure you never end up in the same place again |
Edited by - debtinfo on 30 May 2012 18:16:15 |
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Skippy
forum expert
United Kingdom
3290 Posts |
Posted - 30 May 2012 : 21:41:49
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That's a brilliant post Debtinfo.
It took a while for me to stop feeling guilty but after a while I started to pick out the positives and while it's obviously not something I'll ever be proud of I did what I had to do and got through it.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/
Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.
Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side. |
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When does the guilt go away?
