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scared
Junior Member
United Kingdom
220 Posts |
 Posted - 30 July 2008 : 19:49:32
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Notice of my BR was in the local paper today in the City where I work. I only know this because (helpfully and sensitively) one of the people who work in the mail room delivered the paper to me, flipped it open to the back and pointed to the notice saying "Sorry to see you are in the paper"! I was so gobsmacked, I didn't say anything. However, when I had thought about it for a moment I called him up and said that although he had noticed this, not everyone read the notices so could he please not gossip about it? He said he wouldn't, but I know what he is like. He will have taken great pleasure in announcing this to everyone he came into contact with throughout the day.
I know I shouldn't worry about the stigma, but it is very difficult when you work in a large firm and you know that not only do the finance department know, but probably the HR department and now most definitely the mail room. All 400 employees will know about it soon I should think.
I felt unexpectedly tearful and ashamed. I am not looking forward to going to work now. Although I do like my job, I feel like the office leper.
Sorry to ramble on, but I need to get it off my chest.
My husband is unemployed (which is how this whole mess started) and so although he has gone BR also, will not have to face the same embarrassment.
Every time I think I feel better about BR (this morning was feeling quite upbeat and perky), something gets me down.
And why are people so NOSEY?!!!!
Ranting over. |
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Trolly-Dolly
Average Member
591 Posts |
Posted - 30 July 2008 : 20:07:49
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Okay,
Deep breath, head held high.
Ready to fib?
If ANYONE says anything degrading or upsetting to you, you tell them that you are not desperate but an opportunist. You saw that BR would offer you a fresh start, with little impact to your life and thought, hey why not! Okay so its a fib and we are desperate, but being desperate gives some people a kick, so you play the upper hand and be a smart ass. I guarantee it will shut them up! .......thats if anyone says anything.
You can read my blog here;
http://drowningmummy.blogs.iva.co.uk/ |
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jilly51
Junior Member
United Kingdom
186 Posts |
Posted - 30 July 2008 : 21:14:25
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Hi scared,
Im sorry uv had this experiance,but the only people who read these notice's in the back of papers lead a very sad life if thats what they have to do for entertainment,just hold ur head up high uv done nothing to be ashamed of and maybe one day it might happen to one of them so dont loose any sleep over them and carry on as normal knowing that uv done the best thing for you and the start of a debt free life,good luck.
jilly51 |
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scared
Junior Member
United Kingdom
220 Posts |
Posted - 30 July 2008 : 22:31:30
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quote:
Originally posted by drowning-mummy
Okay,
Deep breath, head held high.
Ready to fib?
If ANYONE says anything degrading or upsetting to you, you tell them that you are not desperate but an opportunist. You saw that BR would offer you a fresh start, with little impact to your life and thought, hey why not! Okay so its a fib and we are desperate, but being desperate gives some people a kick, so you play the upper hand and be a smart ass. I guarantee it will shut them up! .......thats if anyone says anything.
Thank you drowning-mummy. I will try that if anyone says anything. This is such a rollercoaster of emotions all the time. Feel like I have been through a hedge backwards. But it is good to know I am not alone!!!
You can read my blog here;
http://drowningmummy.blogs.iva.co.uk/
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scared
Junior Member
United Kingdom
220 Posts |
Posted - 30 July 2008 : 22:32:52
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quote:
Originally posted by jilly51
Hi scared,
Im sorry uv had this experiance,but the only people who read these notice's in the back of papers lead a very sad life if thats what they have to do for entertainment,just hold ur head up high uv done nothing to be ashamed of and maybe one day it might happen to one of them so dont loose any sleep over them and carry on as normal knowing that uv done the best thing for you and the start of a debt free life,good luck.
jilly51
Thank you Jilly51. You are absolutely right about people reading those notices. I never even knew they were there until it was pointed out to me. I will try to get a good night's sleep and go to work as normal as if nothing has happened.  |
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mrs skint
Junior Member
172 Posts |
Posted - 31 July 2008 : 00:26:19
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| Be proud that you have faced your debt issues head on and done the right thing for YOU xxx |
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abr
Junior Member
202 Posts |
Posted - 31 July 2008 : 07:21:42
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| i think that most people that actually read the BR notices in the paper are either thinking of going BR or have gone BR so maybe you should ask that person if they have money problems themselves you might be surprised by there answer. |
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Needafriend
Junior Member
United Kingdom
344 Posts |
Posted - 31 July 2008 : 07:35:10
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Hi Scared
Here here to the last post, I did not read them until i knew that i was about to do it.
I have read 2 papers in the last few months and only just noticed the bit in the back.
My neighbour went BK years ago, my brother did it and i only found out a few months ago.
So its not a case of now everyone will know, anyhow if thats all that person can talk about then maybe they should get a life. Just like your doing now, :) getting a life again.
Sod them and others, they are probably just jealous cos your be debt free and they will still be struggling on and on.
We dont take this choice and think its an easy option, its taken much courage, and you have shown that courage, dont be put of by wallies like that.
I will wait and see what comments we have made about us, but we will most probably have to leave our home and so we will move area, then no one will know us.
But thats life. Be strong and sod them all. (Sorry admin im not swearing,lol)
TTFN
JO
"Lifes too short, Grab it while you can, Make each day count and live life to the full. Dont Worry- Be Happy!"
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scared
Junior Member
United Kingdom
220 Posts |
Posted - 31 July 2008 : 09:02:24
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Thank you for all your replies.
Josilverplayboybunnie - thanks and you are right. I only knew the notices even existed after I went BR, so why do other people look at them? I wish we were moving to a different area, but my daughter wants to remain at her school with her friends and I am the only one with a job at the moment. But I would LOVE to move away and make a fresh start.
Is it difficult to get a job with BR do you think? Don't know what checks potential employers do. |
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Needafriend
Junior Member
United Kingdom
344 Posts |
Posted - 31 July 2008 : 09:16:18
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Hi Scared
From what i read before it does not show up on a CRB check although some situations you would have to disclose this information.
I dare say assist or julian may answer that bit.
Dont worry though, your nearly there now.
Be strong and keep posting like i said
"SOD EM ALL!" :)
JO
"Lifes too short, Grab it while you can, Make each day count and live life to the full. Dont Worry- Be Happy!"
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Everyone knows
