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Help007
New Member
91 Posts |
 Posted - 19 December 2008 : 16:38:20
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It has taken alot of courage to post this and not sure if I should, following on from my awlful examiner interview things have been swimming around in my head.
I have never ever spoken of this and do not want to go into detail, when I was young my brother and his friend did things to me they shouldn't, being about 9 or 10. I toold my mum and it was brushed under the carpet and never spoken of since. I felt if I did not it may never have happened but it did and I cant forget it.
I do believe my reckless spending when I was young was a way of trying to better myself by have nice things and nice cars it made me feel good about myself which believe me I dont at all but at the time it did for a short time and I felt I was better than my brother.
I dont want people to feel sorry for me and hope no one is offended or upset but it really is playing on my mind more than ever. I feel happier in myself now having my boys but I still feel resentment that I have been dealt a crap life and by doing bankruptcy I felt it was a way of ending it and starting a fresh but the examiner going on and on that things do not look good for me just keeps coming in my head.
I just wanted to try and vent so please ignore it. |
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John
New Member
United Kingdom
73 Posts |
Posted - 19 December 2008 : 17:02:22
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Hi Help007
I should just like to say that you should not feel awkward about your disclosure. I believe it will help you in some way even if only noted on a forum that does not claim to deal with such things.
I know how much courage it has taken for you to share this information. And when I say I know, I mean just that, I really do know.
And you share it in the knowledge that it will do little if anything to help where the seemingly hostile examiner is concerned.
I hope that by putting it in writing and sharing the awful memory that it will, in some way at least, give you a certain sense of freedom from that memory. I'm 54 years old // 6ft2ins // 17.5 stone - I was 8 - and disclosure came a little less than 2 years ago and I don't think it mattered who I told, it could have been anyone, it's never too late. In a small way doing so made me feel better about myself, I hope you do too.
www.Bankruptcyhelp.org.uk
0800 078 9367 |
Edited by - John on 19 December 2008 17:03:54 |
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Almost there
Junior Member
United Kingdom
288 Posts |
Posted - 19 December 2008 : 17:55:52
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Hi, I am sure it must have taken a hell of alot of courage to share your experience with the forum. I also hope you can find the courage to share it with a professional who can help you to move forward, I have a friend who had a crap childhood, she is now 62 and is having counselling and it is helping her to deal with the awful experiences of her childhood. None of what has happened to you has been your fault and I am sure that no one will be offended by your disclosure.
I can well understand the feeling that you wanted to spend on nice things, this often happens when you are feeling depressed or down, I have been there myself, when my partner died I just used to go out and spend, spend, spend knowing full well that I probably wouldn't be able to pay it off, and I can't pay it off so will have to face the consequences. Looking back I realise how depressed I was and buying things (some of which I didn't need) was a way of coping.
Who knows, I may get a grotty examiner and I am having the same worries as you but hopefully I will be able to cope with it when the time comes.
Take care
Sandie |
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Needafriend
Junior Member
United Kingdom
344 Posts |
Posted - 19 December 2008 : 20:28:07
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Hi Help
I have just read your post and like Sandie has said that has taken courage to actually feel that you can share that with us.
We wont judge you and i do understand that things over the years may have in a way triggered the debts, but whatever happened you have taken control of your life, dont let that drag you down.
Your better and stronger than that and we are all here for you. I do think that as Sandie has suggested getting some prof advice on that matter may help you and NO you dont have to declare this part to the OR, but i do want to thank you for sharing that.
I feel honoured that as a forum you have felt that you can do that :-)
Take care
Jo
x
Wishing you A Very Merry Christmas & A Happy Debt Free 2009
19 Weeks down
33 to go
For more info on how i have come through bankruptcy and for links to help, you can read my blog here called:
Needafriend's Info on Bankruptcy :-)
http://debtfreejo.blogs.bankruptcyhelp.org.uk/
Needafriend says: Live life to the full, take life by the horns and live a little, otherwise life would be so boring!
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movin on
Average Member
United Kingdom
946 Posts |
Posted - 20 December 2008 : 17:55:08
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Hey 007
I understand how much it has taken you to write it all down, and hope that it has helped in some way now that you have let it out ......You are a very courageous person and i too feel honoured that you can trust us all enough to share something so intimate.
I hope that you will continue to use us as friends and lean on us for support.
Good luck and take care
Jenny
xx
Onwards and Upwards is the way im going :-0)
From "Moneyworries" to "Movin On" in 3 months is fantastic :-))
xx |
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Not sure if I should post this
