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Gregorygoyle28
Starting Member
13 Posts |
 Posted - 02 November 2011 : 13:09:30
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Argghhh soo angry! Need to get a massive rant off my chest. I've just been told that I can't join a gym because the OR won't allow it. I'm not even going bankrupt its my partner. I'm not going to use his money to pay for it, I'm using mine. Why the **** do they think they have the right to tell me whether I can join a gym or not, god I'm so ****** off! At the end of the day, I go to college 5 days a week, and then work all day Saturday and Sunday and through all my holidays. It's not my fault my boyfriends gone bankrupt so why the hell should I pay for it as well? Call me selfish if you like but I really don't care! We're struggling as it is, if they think they can tell me what I can spend MY money on they've got another thing coming. Maybe if I was earning £600 a day then I could understand. But I'm actually getting paid LESS than I would if I was on benefits!! I'm ringing her on Monday and telling the stupid ***** what I think of her, and if she tries to tell me that my salary has to be taken into account then God help her... she hasn't seen the wrath of Fran!!
Have they even got the right to tell me what I can spend MY money on... as if it isn't stressful enough trying to support someone through the whole bankruptcy process as it is. I'm actually shaking with rage!!
Anyways, cheers for listening! I just wanted to get this rant off my chest!
Hope you're all not too stressed :)
xx |
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Richard P
Senior Member
United Kingdom
1701 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 13:22:36
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GO FOR IT FRAN
write down the points you want to cover with the OR, do not allow too many distractions or frustrations to send you in the wrong direction, as that is what they will want you to do.
it is your partner that is BR not you, financial contributions do need to be made from both sides but remind them of your own financial committments.
Good Luck Richard,
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Gregorygoyle28
Starting Member
13 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 13:42:16
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Thanks Richard :)
But I don't think I'll be able to control myself I'm THAT angry about everything lol! But I am not making ANY financial contributions that are not neccessary. I earn £140 a month, thats £65 less than I would get if I was on benefits (which I am entitled too, but would rather work than claim), out of that I still have to buy things for college and cover my transport. I work 7 days a week, so why should I not be able to spend my money on what I like. I knew he was going bankrupt when I started going out with him, he got in this situation, not me. To be honest if I knew that MY spending money was going to be cut, sometimes I wish I just hadn't bothered... At the end of the day I'm 18 years old, I should be out partying and enjoying life not having to pay the consequences of going out with someone bankrupt. I'll contribute to bills and stuff as much as I can, but I am NOT putting my social life on the backburner just for this, I'm sorry!
Still very angry...   But thanks for listening all the same :) |
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debtinfo
forum expert
2826 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 13:48:15
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| Hang on just a minute. You earn 140 pm, how can you expect tohavea good social life after you have paid for your rent, bills and living costs, I think you need to prioritise. |
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Skippy
forum expert
United Kingdom
3290 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 14:15:09
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Gregorygoyle28, while I appreciate that you are frustrated please don't swear on the forum.
I have to say I agree with debtinfo, you do need to prioritise. Even if your partner wasn't BR surely you would be making a contribution to the bills, rent etc and I don't think that the OR is unreasonable to expect this.
There is no point ringing the OR and having a go, that won't get you anywhere. If you are determined to speak to them, be polite and you're more likely to get somewhere.
Richard, please don't encourage posters to have a go at the OR, that isn't going to help anyone.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/
Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.
Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side. |
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Gregorygoyle28
Starting Member
13 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 14:20:14
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quote:
Originally posted by debtinfo
Hang on just a minute. You earn 140 pm, how can you expect tohavea good social life after you have paid for your rent, bills and living costs, I think you need to prioritise.
Prioritise in what way? Literally, I'd rather go out at the weekends and have a good time and starve if needs be. At the end of the day I used to live in the YMCA on £45 a week and still managed to eat and have a good social life. If they think they can tell me how to budget then I will politely tell them where to go.... I'm GOOD with money, I've always paid my bills on time, my rent on time and never had a payment bounce. If they think they can tell me how to budget then I will give them hell!!
lol x
**sorry mods, can't control myself when I'm angry** |
Edited by - Gregorygoyle28 on 02 November 2011 14:22:11 |
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Skippy
forum expert
United Kingdom
3290 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 14:22:08
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Gregorygoyle, please stop swearing.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/
Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.
Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side. |
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Gregorygoyle28
Starting Member
13 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 14:35:32
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I think the reason I'm so angry is that how many other 18 year olds do you know that would take on a 43 year old man, who's not particularly attractive and has no money. I'm not attracted to him in anyway, which I know sounds harsh, but the whole relationship has fallen apart in my POV, but I'm only staying with him, because he's depressed and stressed at the moment and I don't have the heart to dump him, when he's already in a nasty situation. I know I must sound like a really horrible person here, but I'm (obviously) not with him for his money, and I think the only reason I ever started to go out with him is because I love caring for people (believe it or not!!) and I think it's that is what attracted me to him, rather than actually him if that makes sense. So because I don't feel like I'm actually 'with' him.
And of course I'll pay rent and bills etc, but with a £1450 mortgage, I'm really not in a position to do so! I'll help out as much as I can, but that's not at the expense of me enjoying myself. I'm not ready for that yet... |
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Gregorygoyle28
Starting Member
13 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 14:39:08
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quote:
Originally posted by debtinfo
Hang on just a minute. You earn 140 pm, how can you expect tohavea good social life after you have paid for your rent, bills and living costs, I think you need to prioritise.
And anyway, it's his fault I'm living here. I had really good accomodation THAT I COULD AFFORD before coming here. He knew I wouldn't be able to contribute because at the time I didn't have a job. We'd both be better off if I wasn't living there... |
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Skippy
forum expert
United Kingdom
3290 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 14:47:34
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If you are living with this man the OR will expect you to make a pro rata contribution to the household expenses, i.e. if you earn 20% of the household income you will be expected to pay 20% of the expenditure.
At the risk of sounding harsh you really need to sit down with your partner and make some decisions as you obviously don't want to contribute and you say he would be better off if you weren't living there.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/
Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.
Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side. |
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Gregorygoyle28
Starting Member
13 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 14:53:20
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quote:
Originally posted by Traceyjr
If you are living with this man the OR will expect you to make a pro rata contribution to the household expenses, i.e. if you earn 20% of the household income you will be expected to pay 20% of the expenditure.
At the risk of sounding harsh you really need to sit down with your partner and make some decisions as you obviously don't want to contribute and you say he would be better off if you weren't living there.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/
Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.
Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side.
I'm already contributing! That doesn't bother me. What's bothering me is the fact that the OR can tell me what I can and can't spend my money on. What's it to do with her? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!! I don't think she has the right to tell me how to budget when I've been living on my own for the last 2 years and know EXACTLY how to budget! I don't spend my money on stupid unneccessary things, I know how to spend my money wisely and still have enoguh money to have a good time. My partner is 'allowed' spending money... so why should I have to pick up the pieces when I didn't have anything to do with the situation in the first place! I don't mind paying bills, I've always done it, I'm not spoilt and don't want for much. I'm just angry at the fact they won't let me spend £15 a month for gym membership... how wrong is that?! |
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Skippy
forum expert
United Kingdom
3290 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 14:55:28
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I might be missing something here, but how come the OR even knows you were joining the gym?
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/
Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.
Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side. |
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Gregorygoyle28
Starting Member
13 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 15:05:00
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I lead a simple life, I don't want for anything, apart from to be able to manage my money! I'm not the one in financial difficulties. I help out as much as I possibly can, and don't get much spending money. After bills and my financial commitments (phone - which is capped at £15 a month, transport and college equipment) I have about £30 a month to spare... now I don't think I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill but that is NOTHING!! I do all the cooking, cleaning
and the big supermarket shops (although it doesn't come out of my wages to be fair) because I know I can't help out financially.
I've used all of my savings (£2400) to help pay off some of his bills (BT, electric, water bills, council tax and the oustanding sum of the Sky that was cut off) so I don't think I'm being unreasonable, you can think different if you want I really don't care. But I don't think I'm a selfish ________. Especially compared to all my mates at college who have always had everything done for them. I'm really not trying to feel sorry for myself I am just SO angry at the OR... |
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Gregorygoyle28
Starting Member
13 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 15:06:41
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quote:
Originally posted by Traceyjr
I might be missing something here, but how come the OR even knows you were joining the gym?
My partner told the accountant all of our joint expendatures, they've told the OR and she's come back saying that's 'unneccessary expendature'... which is pleasant. Bet she's fat too... sorry! |
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Skippy
forum expert
United Kingdom
3290 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 15:07:48
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As I said before, I don't understand. You say the OR won't allow you to have gym membership but I don't know how or why they know about it. Providing you pay your fair share towards the household expenditure the rest of your money is yours to spend as you want.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/
Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realise that we cannot eat money.
Last IPA payment made on 28th June 2010 and I'm now looking forward to getting married in September 2012 - I'm proof that you can go BR and come out the other side. |
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Gregorygoyle28
Starting Member
13 Posts |
Posted - 02 November 2011 : 15:09:12
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And I know I'm coming accross all nasty, I do not mean it towards you or any other posters in any way, when I'm angry I don't think about how I'm wording things that's all. It's not personal at all, promise 
xx |
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SOOOO ANGRY!!
