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BankruptC
Senior Member
1030 Posts |
 Posted - 26 July 2008 : 12:04:30
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Hello,
I'm ian's other half and as the BR process moves on, I'm finding myself more and more glued to these boards searching for advice and answers to the millions of questions we have. I'm getting more and more panicky as the days go by and am now finding that I can't sleep or eat (not bad for the waistline, but not great for finding the energy to run around with our little one!) I'm worried how all the pieces of this jigsaw will come together and what the real impact will be on my precious little family. We plan to go BR on around the 20th Aug and wondered if there was a like-minded soul out there who'd be my 'Bankruptcy buddy'? I just think talking this through on email maybe and sharing experiences (and a cyber chocolate bar!)  with someone who knows what your going through could be a godsend in this daunting process and would defo stop my poor hubby getting it in the neck quite so much! 
Any takers? If so, I think admin can arrange for our email addresses to be swapped if we highlight here it's what we want.
Thanks for reading and good luck to everyone out there still going through this process. Here's to a MUCH brighter future! 
CG
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krissy
Junior Member
United Kingdom
172 Posts |
Posted - 26 July 2008 : 14:55:24
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Hi Im in the same boat my husband went br on 1st of July i have a 2 y o..... the court isnt the hard part its the OR that is scary i feel i have no control what will they do what will the take its daunting so count me in as ur buddy
JODY
kris |
Edited by - krissy on 26 July 2008 14:56:15 |
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scared
Junior Member
United Kingdom
220 Posts |
Posted - 26 July 2008 : 15:36:32
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If you would like two buddies, count me in as well. I was also ill and off my food (although unfortunately my appetite has now returned). The worst part was admitting the realisation that BR was the only way out.
I have a twelve year old daughter and would like to make sure this whole process doesn't affect her too badly, although it is bound to.
My OH and I filed for BR on Thursday and await the OR's interview. I agree that the Court was not scary. Will let you know about the interview after the 4th August (which is when the OR is going to phone).
A problem shared is a problem halved.  |
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johns
Junior Member
United Kingdom
269 Posts |
Posted - 26 July 2008 : 15:38:13
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Hi from your hubby's point of view it is very hard, i intend br in a few weeks and my wife is my rock i feel i have let her down and worried about the consequencies about our family be strong and supportive you will come through it your little family will not know anything and when both you and ian are back up there you will have learnt a great lesson that most people will never learn or will face in the future.
hope you manage to keep strong and if i can offer any atrength or advice let me know as my families own situation is just as daunting
Good luck
John
quote:
Originally posted by ians
Hello,
I'm ian's other half and as the BR process moves on, I'm finding myself more and more glued to these boards searching for advice and answers to the millions of questions we have. I'm getting more and more panicky as the days go by and am now finding that I can't sleep or eat (not bad for the waistline, but not great for finding the energy to run around with our little one!) I'm worried how all the pieces of this jigsaw will come together and what the real impact will be on my precious little family. We plan to go BR on around the 20th Aug and wondered if there was a like-minded soul out there who'd be my 'Bankruptcy buddy'? I just think talking this through on email maybe and sharing experiences (and a cyber chocolate bar!) with someone who knows what your going through could be a godsend in this daunting process and would defo stop my poor hubby getting it in the neck quite so much!
Any takers? If so, I think admin can arrange for our email addresses to be swapped if we highlight here it's what we want.
Thanks for reading and good luck to everyone out there still going through this process. Here's to a MUCH brighter future!
CG
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ann.s
Junior Member
238 Posts |
Posted - 26 July 2008 : 15:52:22
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We are in the same boat, I understand what you are going through my hubby works away, so at the minute I seem to deal with the paperwork, the pests on the phone, at the minute I seem to get up at 3.00am have a coffee watch the tv etc go back to bed for a hour then get up at 6.30 for work, it gets to me, but we have to stick together for the sake of our teenage son, as he is very vuneralbe been a teenager he takes everything in, he dosn't understand the full aspect of BR we have tried to explain his main concern was that it wasn't going to spilt me and his dad up, There is always light at the end of the tunnel and this forum is great for light!!!!
Ann |
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johns
Junior Member
United Kingdom
269 Posts |
Posted - 26 July 2008 : 16:40:51
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good reply ann we are all there but in the early hours of the morning we are the only one in our thoughts
Regards
John |
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ann.s
Junior Member
238 Posts |
Posted - 26 July 2008 : 19:28:23
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Wow what a post it is brilliant, as you say a problem shared is a problem halved, with hubby working away and can only phone now and again, this forum has kept me going, somedays I just sit and read over old and new threads getting more info and realising we are not the only ones who have money problems.
We told both our parents when we had deff decided to go BR they were great and understanding, my dad just said you are not the first and will never be the last!!
Ann |
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scared
Junior Member
United Kingdom
220 Posts |
Posted - 26 July 2008 : 19:43:26
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We have a mortgage and secured loan. My OH was made redundant in December and cannot afford both of these payments on my salary alone, so we are handing back keys. Have not yet found a place to rent and this is something I need to discuss with the OR. Don't know if he will let us save money for deposit, etc. As we are already BR, we cannot go through an agent to rent as they check for two things - CCJs and bankruptcy. We are, however, looking at the small ads and are hoping that we find one where no credit checks are made. We didn't want to rent before we went BR just in case the OR informed the landlord. It sounds as if you are in a similar situation.
As you say, I think it is easier with a smaller child. My daughter knows what is happening and she is obviously anxious. It is hard to not feel guilt as we have landed ourselves in this mess (even though OH made redundant, we already had massive debts in form of loans and credit cards). She has had everything money can buy and now we will be living on nothing. I hope in the end it will be a life lesson for her also and she will learn from our mistakes. I will make sure she never applies for a credit card.
There is a positive side to all of this. I am looking forward to living a simpler life, not worrying about bills and knowing exactly how much is coming in and going out.
If you ever need anyone to talk to, I have no objection to you having my e-mail address, etc. I have found this forum (and another one) very supportive in this stressful time.
Our parents also do not know full extent of our debt but they do know we are going BR. I am having to be quite selective about which family members I see at the moment, because as I am so stressed I do not need more stress in the form of their disapproval. Call it self-preservation!
Just remember you have your health and your family and you will only get stronger from here.
Onwards and upwards!!
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ann.s
Junior Member
238 Posts |
Posted - 26 July 2008 : 20:00:07
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Hi Scared I understand where you are coming from with been selective on who you tell, my hubby went and mentioned it to one of our neighbours who is a friend I hit the roof I surpose embarassed which then caused a huge argument, it turned out that our neighbour went BR five years ago (before we knew him) but his wife is a bizzy body he has promised not to mention it to her till it goes in the paper. So now I have stappled my hubby's lips together, as I can't cope with anymore stress. Some of the neighbours have started to talk as hubby had an expensive car well that went, when he comes back he'll have a cheap run around to get round the tittle tattle for the minute we have just said due to the price of diesel, road tax etc it had to go to expensive to run, that seems to have kept them quiet for a bit. I now have the opinion if they want to judge they can, but I bet they also have loans, cc etc.
Ann |
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johns
Junior Member
United Kingdom
269 Posts |
Posted - 26 July 2008 : 20:16:06
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had to make 165 ldies redundant on top of everything yesterday and not deserved 4 shareholders left me in lurch but good on you all remember life is too short and your neighbours are probably going through it as they put their posh garden furniture out that they bought on their bulging credit card us today who knows tomrrow and everytime you are tempted to spend save a bit and remember
Regards
John |
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BankruptC
Senior Member
1030 Posts |
Posted - 26 July 2008 : 20:33:47
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Hi again (great to know I'm not the only one lurking on here!)
Ann - I too read and read and read the posts! It won't be long till I've read all of them I'm sure! The problem I have is that I think I read too much, cos I start to get confused after a while and think, 'I'm SURE that's not what it said on that other post!' My hubby's parents have been supportive, but mine are really disappointed and aren't making things easy for us (and I haven't even told them about the BR yet-not sure I will!  )
Scared - What you said about your little girl havig had everything so struck a chord with me. Our little man has been the same, and I will do everything in my power to stop him from making these same foolish mistakes when he's older  . With regards to the house, we plan to do it the other way round to you. We've seen somewhere we want to rent and hope we're ok on the credit checks. We've phoned them and they say they only look for CCJs and we don't have any of those so fingers crossed it'll be ok. As for OR telling the landlord, we'll ask him/her not to if he doesn't have to, as we won't really have much of a record there for the OR to look at, so hopefully just showing him/her the tenancy agreement will be enough. If the OR does have to tell the landlord, hopefully it won't be too much of a problem, cos we've already phoned the letting agency (anonymously! ) and asked them if it would be a problem if a tenant went BR during a tenancy and they said no, there's nothing in the tenancy agreement to say we'd have to leave.
John - Gosh, that must've been hard for you yesterday.  You're so right about other people going through similar but keeping schtum!
Keep posting all and keep your chins up! Any more July buddies out there coming to join us?!
CG
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ann.s
Junior Member
238 Posts |
Posted - 26 July 2008 : 20:44:15
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When I'm at work and have a few minutes spare I log in to see what I'm missing, I also log on to the sister iva site, before I registered I read for weeks before I had the bottle to register, but these sites have been my lifeline whilst hubby is away and son is out. He's back on thursday for two weeks so they'l be a fight for the lap top unless he gets his cheap run around then he'll be out cleaning it, he gets obsessed with his car been clean, me I save water and wait till it rains!!
Ann |
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johns
Junior Member
United Kingdom
269 Posts |
Posted - 26 July 2008 : 21:31:29
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Tell ian it is pride that stops him accepting the inevetable he is not alone tell him not to feel shame with the support he must look forward and if he feels like blowing off get him to post to me if he likes any sport i am an everton fan and it may help i regularily text my mate and all my friends already know as i am not keeping it secret there is no shame in br others have just been lucky or awaiting their time my youngest is 12 and a liverpool fan my eldest just back from iraq and also a liverpool fan so chin up lifes a bitch
regards
john |
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johns
Junior Member
United Kingdom
269 Posts |
Posted - 26 July 2008 : 21:46:03
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Hi ann stressed thats why i do this on sat evening my car goes back tuesday please do no stop hubby saying what he wants for fellas it is a form of stress relief and he and myself plus others i know do that we all feel shame but we are here for whatever reason and we do not want to be here i have been in business for more years than i care to remember and with a car worth 60k it is material and like you said your neighbour has gone down the same route so will 10,000 more this month
good luck
Johnquote:
Originally posted by ann.s
Hi Scared I understand where you are coming from with been selective on who you tell, my hubby went and mentioned it to one of our neighbours who is a friend I hit the roof I surpose embarassed which then caused a huge argument, it turned out that our neighbour went BR five years ago (before we knew him) but his wife is a bizzy body he has promised not to mention it to her till it goes in the paper. So now I have stappled my hubby's lips together, as I can't cope with anymore stress. Some of the neighbours have started to talk as hubby had an expensive car well that went, when he comes back he'll have a cheap run around to get round the tittle tattle for the minute we have just said due to the price of diesel, road tax etc it had to go to expensive to run, that seems to have kept them quiet for a bit. I now have the opinion if they want to judge they can, but I bet they also have loans, cc etc.
Ann
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ann.s
Junior Member
238 Posts |
Posted - 27 July 2008 : 08:46:42
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You are right john we are all here for the same reason, hubby is actually looking forward to having an older car as it will probably need some work to do on it, so that will keep him busy whilst he is off and I'm slogging away at work!!
Sorry to hear your car will be going on Tuesday but as you said they are only material things made of metal and not human like our families. Which we all need our close ones at this time.
Take Care
Ann |
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Trolly-Dolly
Average Member
591 Posts |
Posted - 27 July 2008 : 17:29:00
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Hello everyone,
Just got back from my dads house after spending the weekend there (no internet) and saw this great thread.
We have a 3 year old and a seven month old and plan to go BR on August 20th.
I'll post more a little later but at the moment my 3 year old is quite poorly and today is our belated sons seventh birthday, so bear with me, I'll join in more perhaps tomorrow or tonight.
Virtual hug anyone???
((((((((((X))))))))))
You can read my blog here;
http://drowningmummy.blogs.iva.co.uk/ |
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BR buddy for a worried wife and mummy?!
