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ann.s
Junior Member
238 Posts |
 Posted - 29 July 2008 : 15:14:07
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Hi Jo brilliant post I just wondering where the boat will dock, I quite fancy the maldives (not been greedy) just some place I could never afford to go to. We can all dream!!
My boat is not docking til Sept so i've still got a long time at sea!!
Ann |
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ann.s
Junior Member
238 Posts |
Posted - 29 July 2008 : 18:24:29
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As you said family are the most important thing to us, my teenage son has gone out before I got in from work, he left a note saying he had to go out early as the phone was doing his head in. I have put the ringer on low, I can understand what he means just been in 30 mins and it has rang 6 six times. Hubby is back on Thursday evening I think the phone will get unplugged then, Today no post maybe there was too much to go through the letter box!!!
I'm counting down the days till 8th Sept I'm not allowed time off at work in September due to working for a garage, I've been there 19 yrs so I'm hoping i'll be able to get the day off (might have say a tiny lie) Our court is a drop in one, first come first served!! from what I understand the Judge normally goes home about 2 ish.
Did you have make an appointment at your court? I hope it goes well on Monday as you deserve it to go right with what you have gone through.
There is always light at the end of the tunnel.
Take Care
Ann |
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Sharon53
Junior Member
194 Posts |
Posted - 29 July 2008 : 21:47:14
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Hi Folks
It seems you, Ian and Jo are way ahead of us so I will be watching to see how you get on with court and such. Jo, you must live in the same part of the world as me if your court is Yeovil, a bit further north though, I am in Dorset. I was reading the other day that the south-west is one of the worst BR spots, something to do with high house prices and low wages.
A bit worried about the name in the papers bit, my son says he doesn't care as his friends already know ,but I live in a small village, been here for 30 years so no doubt if someone sees it ,it will be all around Still at the end of the day I suppose it doesn't matter, a nine day wonder I expect!
I noticed some of the buddies comments about neighbours - I suppose they always notice the old banger that replaces the new car I can understand you wanting to hang on to your houses if possible, it's your security after all, are you allowed to keep them if you are BR? Even if you have a lot of equity there?
Paid son's deposit on house today, moving day the 16th, once that is over maybe he can get on with the BR then - he and his partner are quite calm sort of people or maybe he just doesn't show his worries, I am the worrier in the family, I could worry for England
I expect a lot of you keep it from your parents but I always know when there is something wrong even if he doesn't tell me!
We won't forget 2008 in a hurry will we?
Keep happy and keep cuddling our little ones(ours is just starting to crawl and have tantrums
Sharon |
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BankruptC
Senior Member
1030 Posts |
Posted - 30 July 2008 : 14:30:35
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Hi all!
Jo-Not long at all for you now! I've been reading your posts and seen that some worry is starting to set in a bit now. Try not to worry-it's just because it's getting nearer the time for it to actually happen. I'm sure once it's done you'll have a HUGE weight lifted! 
Ann-Sounds like we'll be going BR at a similar time. We're looking at on or around Sept 10th depending on our final decision about what to do with the house. You'll be just a couple of days ahead of us so you can tell us what it's like! Bless your lad going out cos he was fed up of the phone ringing. I know just how he feels, though admittedly ours has got much quieter now. We've been telling our creditors of our intention to go BR since we made the decision and most of them have been very good and not contacted us since. Just the odd one or two keep calling and we just keep giving them the same info! It's just irritating more than anything-they're not confrontational, just say they will have to keep ringing till we have the BR reference number to give to them! 
Sharon-Try not to worry too much about what the neighbours think. I'm a teacher and at first was VERY worried about the parents etc finding out, but for one thing, how many people actually read those ads in the paper? And also, as you say they will move onto something else much more interesting after a few days. They probably have similar problems themselves, if not too the same extent, so some may be saying, 'There but for the grace of God, go I'! Our little one is tantrumming for England too! He's just starting to talk properly now and never stops-giving us a running commentary of everything he, I or his Daddy do!  He really has been our godsend in all of this-I think we'd have gone mad if we didn't have him to concentrate on and to laugh with.
Well we're STILL not sure what to do about the house! We're in negative equity so can keep hold of it if we want as the OR will have no interest in it. However, if we do keep it, we'll still have debts, in the form of a huge mortgage and secured loan, ad the whole point of this for us is to make a fresh start! Also, if we stay here, our disposable income will be literally zero so we'll struggle to live! On the other hand though, we really don't want to have to move around too much with our little one and take away the security of having our own home. We just don't kow what to do and I'm not sleeping because of it. I keep getting up and wandering round, coming on here and reading old posts at 4am trying to gain some inspiration!
We'll get there though, I expect. It's only natural to have good days and bad days in a situation like this. We'll all be so much happier in 12 months time and will look back on this time and barely remember how stressful it all was. Here's hoping, anyway! 
Take care all and keep posting!
CG. x
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rollercoaster
Junior Member
United Kingdom
327 Posts |
Posted - 30 July 2008 : 15:01:12
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| Just read your post and was interested to see that you are a teacher, that is my line of work also and i worry a little that pupils parents will see the notice in the paper! I have told a few select people at work what is going on, partly so they understand why I am out of sorts but also because I didnt know if there would be implications and I would lose my job. The deputy has been very supportive (even arranging for me to have my leave paid, once when I went into complete meltdown and again when we go for our court date) Have you told anyone at work? |
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BankruptC
Senior Member
1030 Posts |
Posted - 30 July 2008 : 15:23:37
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Hi rollercoaster,
I've only told my HoD because he's a good friend of mine and should be able to support me if there is any come-back from the parents. I also phoned the LEA to check my contract to make sure there's no reason I can't carry on my job (which there isn't). It's yet another worry in all this, isn't it?! I just think people will quickly move on to something more interesting than the state of my finances! 
Are you primary or secondary?
CG. x |
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rollercoaster
Junior Member
United Kingdom
327 Posts |
Posted - 30 July 2008 : 15:39:18
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| Hi, I am secondary, specialize in behavior and inclusion. The deputy and a member of my staff team know, they are non judgmental and very supportive. When she first heard of our troubles she came round with a big bunch of flowers, a bottle of wine and £5 worth of lottery tickets. lol. |
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BankruptC
Senior Member
1030 Posts |
Posted - 30 July 2008 : 15:47:02
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Very nice of her!! I'm secondary too. I'm only going back part time in Sept, which I'm glad about, although the full time money would have come in handy had we known we'd end up in this position!
CG. x |
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rollercoaster
Junior Member
United Kingdom
327 Posts |
Posted - 30 July 2008 : 19:31:33
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| Its also not the least stressful of jobs when you are going through such difficult personal experiences. Although I must admit, for every 'difficult' lesson, there are many more moments that make me smile. Getting an end of term present from the schools two 'hard nuts' was sweet. |
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johns
Junior Member
United Kingdom
269 Posts |
Posted - 30 July 2008 : 22:15:02
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Hi sorry to bleat you are all right and all feel shame i feel for my wife in fact sarah has just stopped crying at the thought like all of you the future.
My wife is my rock and we shall get throug it you all will it is a learning curve not nice but in some cases a necessity that will help us all in the future, we are here for spending too much not killing anyone
regards
john |
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s.f
Junior Member
181 Posts |
Posted - 31 July 2008 : 13:13:50
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Hi everyone. I hope you don't mind me adding my bit!
I have only posted a few times with some questions (and I keep thinking of more as I go along so will probably end up posting loads).
I have finally decided to go bankrupt after seriously considering it for about a year. Unfortunately the people close to me aren't particularly supportive. My sister thinks bankruptcy is a mistake and my boyfriend has no idea of the stress involved when you are in debt. He is very naive and has got very supportive parents with very deep pockets who bail him out of trouble.
I have a 7 year son from a previous relationship (when all my debt problems started! Because of my then OH not my son!), I have a 1 year son with my current boyfriend and we are expecting another in September. I too can't eat or sleep properly and am constantly crying over this whole debt situation.
Can anyone tell me why the OR is scary? I don't own any property or have any assets so was hoping it would be fairly non scary! The only thing that worries me (and OH) is that I have regular use of his (very expensive) car.
I just need some reassurance really that BR is the answer and that I am not alone. I feel like the only person in the world who has stupidly got into an unmanagable debt situation. No one else in my family is as rubbish with money as me and sadly they all look upon it as some sort of failure!
Sam |
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BankruptC
Senior Member
1030 Posts |
Posted - 31 July 2008 : 13:59:19
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Hi Sam and welcome!
I feel for you and am in a very similar position with regards to support. We're also in the situation that family members think we're making a big mistake and not doing the right thing by our child. None of us want to be in this situation and I'm sure we're beating ourselves up about this enough without others telling us how stupid we've been!
Re. the OR, people seem to say they're not half as scary as the idea of them! We just need to remember they're human too and they see situations like ours (and much worse!) every single day, so shouldn't be too hard on us!
Please remember you really are not alone and we're here for you to talk to.
Keep your chin up and keep posting.
CG. x |
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ann.s
Junior Member
238 Posts |
Posted - 31 July 2008 : 16:43:42
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Sam, welcome to BR Buddies, don't feel alone, we all post on the forum for help and support from it's great members, there is always someone on the forum to answer or help, or even just a moan!!
What you have to remember is you need your health, I know how you feel when you said you can't eat or sleep last night I was walking around the house at 2am not knowing what to do, I find I can't eat when I'm in the house, maybe the debt that we have got into gets to me when I walk in, so I try to eat at work. you need to try and eat and keep healthy for the sake of your children and your unborn child (do you know what you are having?) Just remember they will always be there for you.
Take Care Keep posting.
Ann |
Edited by - ann.s on 31 July 2008 16:46:24 |
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s.f
Junior Member
181 Posts |
Posted - 31 July 2008 : 18:02:15
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Hi Ann,
I know what you are saying about not being to eat at home. To be honest I just feel totally down all the time when I am home, yet when I am out it is as if a cloud has lifted! However, with little ones it isn't possible to be out all the time and I don't work either. I think that is half my problem as I don't feel in control as such because I don't 'earn' my own money. Once this baby is born I am going to look for a part time evening/weekend job to get a bit of money.
As for the baby I have been told it is definately another boy. Although I was and still am convinced it is a girl. I have had 2 boys and both pregnancies were the same and this is totally different. Could always be caused by all the stress though! I will update you once he or she has made an appearance. Only 8 weeks to go so hopefully I will be sorted out with the BR by then as well.
Anyway, thanks Ann and Ians for your support, it feels so much better being able to 'talk' to other people who are in exactly the same situation.
Thanks
Sam
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ann.s
Junior Member
238 Posts |
Posted - 31 July 2008 : 18:19:16
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Hi Sam,
If it's a another boy you are on your way to start a five a side team!! We have one boy who is now 16 I don't know where the years have gone, he is testing at times as my hubby works away, he's back tonight for two weeks, so he'll be a good teenager for two weeks!!
When are you going BR? We are going BR on 8th Sept, we have to work around my hubby working away, for the court date then the call from the OR, he has got the whole of Sept off, so by the time he goes away at the end of sept it should be all sorted fingures and toes crossed.
Take Care
Ann |
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BR buddy for a worried wife and mummy?!
