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moonstriker
Starting Member
17 Posts |
 Posted - 04 November 2008 : 13:44:14
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I am ashamed to have to admit that I am 57 years of age and hold debts to the staggering value of £74,000!
This is made up of two personal Bank loans of £10,000 and 20,000 and the rest is split between ‘five’ credit cards!!!
Although I continue to make the monthly payments, it takes my entire wage and that of my wife’s and I then have to revert to using the credit card again to last the rest of the month.
My wife has debts of her own that we have to pay as well, but her debts are made up of a single bank loan of £10,000 and £1,957.00 between two credit cards.
I feel I cannot go on in this way any longer and must declare myself bankrupt. My marriage is just about over because of the strain of it all and I have no assets. Nothing at all. I rent my house and our family car is a mess.
Even worse, I work in security installing cctv, access control and intruder alarms. I have to be regularly vetted by people such as the prison service, MOD and educational authorities. Once bankrupt I will fail the credit check and be forced out of work.
What would you recommend other than suicide! And can I expect to end up in prison for the debts?
Thank You
David
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jayne h
Junior Member
218 Posts |
Posted - 04 November 2008 : 14:56:38
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Hello David,
Firstly, I wish you a warm welcome to the forum. You will get heaps of support from everyone on here who has personal experience of bankruptcy.
Now to the subject of your debts - a lot of people on here, including myself and my husband, have had debts in the same amount, and more, as yours. We all understand the "robbing one card to pay another off" scenario and have been there and done that. If that is how you have racked the credit up by robbing Peter to pay Paul then you will certainly not end up in prison. If, however, you had robbed a bank and spent it all and then racked up credit then it might be a possibility!!
I would strongly urge you to phone the Helpline and speak to one of the experts, many of whom have all been through the same experience.
Just make sure that you keep posting and getting some support from us all on here.
So you know my experience, I was declared bankrupt on 13th October. It has been a scary experience but one which has been made a bit easier with all the support from everyeone on here.
Jayne x |
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RHB
Senior Member
1159 Posts |
Posted - 04 November 2008 : 15:33:37
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| If you want to keep your job, would any other option be better like maybe a debt management plan? |
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Skippy
forum expert
United Kingdom
3290 Posts |
Posted - 04 November 2008 : 16:46:44
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Hi David and welcome to the forum.
Please don't feel ashamed - it probably won't make you feel any better, but I was 32 and had managed to get in debt to the tune of £65k when I went BR. I had no assets apart from a car.
Your life and your marriage are more important than your debts, although I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment. There will be a way forward for you and I would recommend that you speak to an Insolvency Practitioner who will go through your options with you - BR, IVA or DMP.
You won't go to prison for your debts - thankfully they've done away with debtors prisons otherwise there'd be a lot of us in there!
Good luck with finding out a solution, and whatever you do, please don't consider suicide x
Tomorrow is a mystery, yesterday is history, today is the present, a gift to make the most of.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.bankruptcyhelp.org.uk/ |
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moonstriker
Starting Member
17 Posts |
Posted - 04 November 2008 : 20:56:36
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Sorry I have not been on line any earlier, but I do want very much to thank each of you who responded so very quickly to my situation. I have made many mistakes in my life time but to simply keep falling further and further into the mess I have created is beyond words. I do however take great comfort in your kind words.
I shall telephone the helpline in the morning.
My thanks. David
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kazy1
Junior Member
United Kingdom
120 Posts |
Posted - 04 November 2008 : 20:59:02
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David, please do not feel ashamed life throws things at us and its how you deal with it that matters.
My debt was 296,000 and a few odd pence It wasn't till i got to court and they added it up i went green .
I am 39 with 6 beautiful children and an understanding husband who has supported me all the way and so have my family.
Stay strong there are solutions to problems ring the help line and talk it through.
All my love
Kazy1xxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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Trolly-Dolly
Average Member
591 Posts |
Posted - 04 November 2008 : 21:13:38
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Hi David,
I second what everyone has said.
I just want to enquire something though, are you sure that you will lose your job if BR? The reason I ask is that I hold a Government Airside ID pass and passed all my checks, also when I was at the court I met a school teacher who was also a foster mother and she said that all would be okay (and she must have zillions of checks).
If you have no assets then I would suggest this is probably the best route. As Skippy has said nothing is more important than your health and loved ones. You are 8 years from retirement, I doubt you could pay back that much in 8 years!
Please forget the 'S' word and remember this: When we all joined this board we were all ashamed, scared, embarrassed etc. You meet people from all walks of life and from different circumstances, but we all have that common bond, so you are among friends. Keep posting x
You can read my blog here;
http://drowningmummy.blogs.iva.co.uk/ |
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jayne h
Junior Member
218 Posts |
Posted - 05 November 2008 : 11:21:19
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Hi Moonstriker,
Just wanted to know how you are feeling today and did you phone the helpline?
Bizarrely I was thinking about you at home last night mainly because my husband works in the Prison Service and when we started out on this long road were told by an IP (a fantastic one at that) that she had helped many police officers and prison service staff go BR and they all still held their jobs.
Please let us know how you are feeling today.
Jayne x |
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moonstriker
Starting Member
17 Posts |
Posted - 05 November 2008 : 12:06:52
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Hi Jayne;
I feel a lot better having received such great support and to know I am not as alone as I had thought. Unfortunately, I am not able to discuss this with my wife as things stand, but I do feel if I can sort it all out then I have a solid chance of salvaging my marriage.
I have two wonderful children (18 and 16) and I intend to do whatever it takes to keep the family together, even if that does mean taking the BR route on my own.
I am shortly about to contact the helpline and will post you the response.
I realised last night that this month would be the first month that I was not going to be able to meet the credit card payments, so now I no option but to cure the problem once and for all.
My regards and thanks
David
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jayne h
Junior Member
218 Posts |
Posted - 05 November 2008 : 12:27:55
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Hi David,
I'm glad you have responded. I truly believe that once you know the path you are going to take it is half the battle.
Before we decided on the BR Route, my relationship with my husband was difficult. We both snapped at each other and taking it out on our 5 year old daughter (not physically may I add).
Today, I feel brighter than I have done in a long long time. My husband took a call from the Halifax today and had great pleasure in telling them that he could not help them any more and that it was in the hands of the Official Receiver. They contacted him becuase they had not heard from the OR!
It would do you no harm (time permitting) to read up on here about peoples' experiences at Court (every single one of them has been a positive experience). The Judge does not sit there in a wig and gown but is more likely someone you would pass walking through an office!
I think pretty much everyone is worried about the official Receiver interview, which is a telephone call lasting about an hour, but they have heard the same story time and time again and my OR told me they are inundated with cases. At the end of the call it is not many people who come away feeling worse than they did.
As I said before, please make sure you call the Helpline and you stick around and post your worries/concerns/joys and I look forward to the day when you post on here and it is all done and dusted and you start your new debt free life.
Jayne x |
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kazy1
Junior Member
United Kingdom
120 Posts |
Posted - 05 November 2008 : 13:25:42
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Reading my post back can i just say my debt was to a business venture and a charge on the house that became due once the house was repossesed
Thankyou
ps I know no-one judges here |
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kazy1
Junior Member
United Kingdom
120 Posts |
Posted - 05 November 2008 : 13:28:25
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sorry hadn't finnished little fingers on the keyboard!!
keep in touch david and i hope things work out for you.
My friends husband is a prison officer and he went BR and kept his job so good luck
Kazy1xxxxx |
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moonstriker
Starting Member
17 Posts |
Posted - 05 November 2008 : 19:10:50
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Hi again everyone, I just wanted to let you all know that I have spoken to the helpline and confirmed that Br is the way forward!
So, tomorrow I shall collect the paperwork from the court and see about completing it. I feel I should not waste anymore time, get it into the court as soon as possible.
Once again, I am so very thankful to have received all your comments; you’re becoming an extended family.
God bless each and every one of you out there.
Regards
David
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kazy1
Junior Member
United Kingdom
120 Posts |
Posted - 05 November 2008 : 19:20:25
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hi david,
I hope things go well for you and remember if you need help with filling in your forms we are here to help also just check with the court to see if you can just turn up on the day or you have to make an appointment. It isn't that scary  but i will keep you in my thoughts.
keep us posted
Kazy1xxxxx |
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Trolly-Dolly
Average Member
591 Posts |
Posted - 05 November 2008 : 23:10:48
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I also just want to add David, that going BR was the best decision I have ever made. It has changed me so much as person and my attitude to money and my spending habits have changed forever.
As Jayne said, now that you have decided, you are almost there.
Also completing the forms online is really easy if you dont pick up the paper ones. So far, our journey has been painless, the only bit that was hard was deciding whether to do it or not!
You're gonna be okay xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You can read my blog here;
http://drowningmummy.blogs.iva.co.uk/ |
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moonstriker
Starting Member
17 Posts |
Posted - 06 November 2008 : 08:16:52
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Thanks again for your help and advise, you mention that the court forms can be obtained on line, can you tell me where from? This may just be the better way of providing the information.
I will be so relieved to finally get rid of this sickness feeling, end the silent tears that no one sees or hears, and to hopefully regain the ability to smile. Anytime I see something on TV about debts and or saving money, I just leave the room.
Did you all share the same problem of waking in the middle of the night in a panic and then not being able to sleep again?
Sorry for going on!
Regards and my love to all of you
David
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I am ashamed to have to admit
