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soooo scared
Starting Member
United Kingdom
19 Posts |
 Posted - 01 January 2009 : 22:44:30
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I hold my hands up. I deserve to go to prison. I am ashamed but I need to tell someone. I have debts of 41k and am at the end of the road. I have taken some cash on a credit card to cover the next 2 payments on my debts but after that it's the end, i have no more credit left. I recieve 1600 a month wages but pay out on debt alone
1400. I have run up extra debts over christmas, i know this is not looking good and probably will be prosecuted. I have lived way beyond my means, had holidays etc. I have even lied on credit applications stating i own my home when i don't. Please no one reply telling me how bad i have been, i already know, have contemplated suicide but i'm too much of a coward for that. Don't know what to do and desperate. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation????? |
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Reviva UK
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2452 Posts |
Posted - 01 January 2009 : 23:31:20
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Hi
firstly welcome to the forum and glad you were able to post.
Secondly nobody is going to prison.
Thirdly if you were even remotely thinking "unpleasant thoughts" then you need to phone someone and have a chat. At least this will put your mind at rest. If you are desperate our contact number / contact section of web page is always available and will always get a response.
If you can hold on then I would recommend you call the helpline or another expert to help put everything in perspective and help you focus on the way ahead.
You have obviously got some sorting out to do but believe me when I say it can be done and once you have a plan together you will feel a whole lot better knowing there is life after debt!
Paul Johns
Assisted Bankruptcy Specialists
Reviva UK
Real People ..... Real Debt Solutions
www.revivauk.com |
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peppa-pig
Starting Member
26 Posts |
Posted - 02 January 2009 : 08:24:51
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hi and welcome. i think nearly all of us on here here felt like that at some point or other but as Paul said - really no one is going to prison and there are people around who WILL be able to help.
Even by posting on here it shows you have realised you need to do something to remedy your situation.
The whole debt thing hanging over you makes you feel like there is no option on how to get over it and because it is such a massive thing everything gets blown out of proportion.
I took the plunge and contacted Paul from Reviva UK a few weeks ago and even after a half hour conversation with him I felt a whole lot better and positive that i could do something to get me and my family sorted and into a better situation and actually do something to make a positive change and give us all a quality of life which we were lacking with debt hanging over us.
There are of course other specialists you could contact but I only have experience of talking with Paul. Honestly, i felt so much better having spoken to him. He is in no way judgemental of what you have done or how you did it and he doesn't make you feel like you are being 'told off' which was one of the things i was dreading most. He talks calmly to you and explains the ins and outs of everything and answers even the most daft of questions which all helps make things in more perspective.
The other people on this board are great at giving support and advice too.
I hope you manage to start feeling better soon and stop feeling so alone in your situation.
Nows the time to make 2009 the start of your new debt free life.
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soooo scared
Starting Member
United Kingdom
19 Posts |
Posted - 02 January 2009 : 09:56:36
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| Thanks for your replies. I am going to ring the helpline next week. I started to make a list of how much i pay out and owe......it's even worse than i thought and the extra i took out over christmas ufff!!! They can send the baliffs in to strip the house bare of everything, material things now mean nothing to me (not that i have anything of any value) . I feel so guilty and the worst thing is that i have let my children down. But enough of the self pity......time to face up to my problems and take responsability for what i have done...........onwards and upwards (hopefully) |
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Help007
New Member
91 Posts |
Posted - 02 January 2009 : 10:07:03
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You sound exactly like me, I had debts borrowing to pay things etc and built huge amounts up, alot more than you I can say.
It is tough but you have taken the hardest first step of facing up to it and doing something about it. The people on here are great and will support you all the way through.
You are not the only one and wont be the last so dont beat yourself up about it the fact is you are facing it and doing something so now you can begin the start towards a debt free life. |
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Needafriend
Junior Member
United Kingdom
344 Posts |
Posted - 02 January 2009 : 10:19:42
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Hi Soooooo-scared
I also wanted to add in my words to you. Dont worry about this and stop the thoughts of prison, as it wont happen.
I too had thoughts and started to take my own life, when my debts got really bad in May last year, but somehow i managed not to complete that part of my life, i had been right at the bottom of the barrel by this time, but somehow i pulled through, i found this site and these guys and gals brought me back and i am thankfull to them for that.
All the thoughts of prison, losing my home etc etc came and went and now i am 5 months into my bankruptcy and feel that i have def done the right thing.
We wont judge you, thats not what we are here for, we are there for your support and to guide you through. Do call the helpline, its free and they may not be able to speak straught away but leave a name and a contact number and they will get back to you. That number is 0800 078 9367.
Best of luck to you and do keep posting:-)
Jo
x
22 Weeks down
30 to go
For more info on how i have come through bankruptcy and for links to help, you can read my blog here called:
Needafriend's Info on Bankruptcy :-)
http://debtfreejo.blogs.bankruptcyhelp.org.uk/
Needafriend says: Live life to the full, take life by the horns and live a little, otherwise life would be so boring!
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soooo scared
Starting Member
United Kingdom
19 Posts |
Posted - 02 January 2009 : 10:39:55
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| Wow this site is good, already i feel stronger and able to cope. I have been reading through the pages and as yet, have not found anybody that went to prison, which is my biggest fear. One thing i have just thought: will they want the presents back that i bought for my kids at christmas? I guess they will as i bought them on a store card. |
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Needafriend
Junior Member
United Kingdom
344 Posts |
Posted - 02 January 2009 : 10:50:22
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Hi
No they wont unless they were of a very high value. Dont panic about that, you cant really take back gifts.
Just relax and chill and it will all come good in the end, i promise :-)
Jo
x
22 Weeks down
30 to go
For more info on how i have come through bankruptcy and for links to help, you can read my blog here called:
Needafriend's Info on Bankruptcy :-)
http://debtfreejo.blogs.bankruptcyhelp.org.uk/
Needafriend says: Live life to the full, take life by the horns and live a little, otherwise life would be so boring!
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soooo scared
Starting Member
United Kingdom
19 Posts |
Posted - 02 January 2009 : 11:10:06
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Thanks to everyone for the replies
Well we are talking x box, camera, phone etc. We have bought a new pc £1000 (the old broke)
To be honest the more i think about it the more this is looking like fraud. Hand on heart i didn't max out all my credit with the intention of going BR. My plan was to get a bank loan and pay off the credit cards but in reality that would only be delaying things. We even took my parents away for a few days over christmas, i don't know if i even dare go BR !!!! |
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s4pps
Junior Member
252 Posts |
Posted - 02 January 2009 : 11:24:23
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Hi so scared. I know how dark those feelings are, and I am generally a very positive, cup-half-full person. You probably can't see a way out, but there is, and you've already made a start by accepting there's a problem and coming on here. That in itself will help with those feelings, that you're not alone and there is help. If you don't feel up to phoning (it took me a few weeks to get to that point) then continue to post. There's always someone around to give you a bit of support.
I also found my debts were more than I at first thought, so don't worry about that, I guess it's quite common :)
But, looking at your last post, what would you do if you didn't go BR? Honestly, it will just get worse, the stress, the sleepless nights and the dark thoughts.
Paul from Reviva is lovely. John that runs this forum is fab. He was the first person I spoke to about BR and he was just so helpful and non-judgemental.
Suzanne x
http://stressedsuzanne.blogs.iva.co.uk/ |
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soooo scared
Starting Member
United Kingdom
19 Posts |
Posted - 02 January 2009 : 11:47:05
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Hi s4pps
Yes ur right i have no choice BR is my only option. This site has made me realise that life after br is much better than life before and hopefully those dark thoughts will disappear, i love my family too much for that anyway.
Do you think i should just do it as soon as possible rather than wait and make a couple more payments because to be honest a couple more payments is just a drop in the ocean. At the end of the day the or is not going to look lightly at the fact i have maxed out all my credit no matter how long i wait |
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Needafriend
Junior Member
United Kingdom
344 Posts |
Posted - 02 January 2009 : 11:54:09
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Hi Soooo Scared
Its down to you really, if you have no new agreements then you can go BR as soon as you feel ready to do so.
You would need to contact your local court and find out about there booking system as you may have to book first.
Then you will need to fill out the forms, here is a link to fill in online or ask the court to send a paper version to you.
https://www.insolvencydirect.gov.uk/isolv/
The fee is £495 payable in cash on the day. You can get help with the fee if your on a low wage or certain benefits, ask the court when you call.
You would need to sort a bank account and also get your wages in and removed prior to BR if you are using an old account, or if you open a new one like the Coop cashminder just keep enough for essential living costs on the day of the hearing.
Also stop paying all creditors now apart from essentials like utilities that way you can save for the fee.
Hope that helps
Jo
x
22 Weeks down
30 to go
For more info on how i have come through bankruptcy and for links to help, you can read my blog here called:
Needafriend's Info on Bankruptcy :-)
http://debtfreejo.blogs.bankruptcyhelp.org.uk/
Needafriend says: Live life to the full, take life by the horns and live a little, otherwise life would be so boring! |
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soooo scared
Starting Member
United Kingdom
19 Posts |
Posted - 02 January 2009 : 13:06:48
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Thanks for that Needafriend.
I'm going to see if i can open an account with coop but will this get frozen? All credit is paid till the end of Jan so i have a few weeks to get things sorted. We get benefits, my husband is disabled and i am his carer.We both need to go BR, can we do this jointly? Do we have to pay 2 lots of fees?
Another question i need to ask is will i get arrested for fraud? Does the OR involve the police. Sorry for so many questions but every minite another pops into my head. |
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Needafriend
Junior Member
United Kingdom
344 Posts |
Posted - 02 January 2009 : 13:09:51
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Hi firstly the coop are bankrupt friendly, just tell them your intentions when you apply and the account should not be frozen.
Secondly there is no such thing as a joint bankruptcy but you can both go BR at the same time, the fee would be £495 x 2, but if your on certain benefits or low income then you may be able to get the court fee removed (£150) you would have to ask the court for the form to apply for that.
And no you wont get arrested for fraud. And the OR as far as i am aware will not call the police.
:-)
Jo
x
22 Weeks down
30 to go
For more info on how i have come through bankruptcy and for links to help, you can read my blog here called:
Needafriend's Info on Bankruptcy :-)
http://debtfreejo.blogs.bankruptcyhelp.org.uk/
Needafriend says: Live life to the full, take life by the horns and live a little, otherwise life would be so boring! |
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Almost there
Junior Member
United Kingdom
288 Posts |
Posted - 02 January 2009 : 13:50:49
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Hello Soooo Scared, you sound exactly like me, I have worried myself sick about fraud, prison etc. it is a relief to know that I am not the only person with the same thoughts. I do beleive that debtors prisons finished many, many years ago.
I have done exactly the same as you, consolidated loans, ran up all my credit cards, living beyond my means etc. and am looking to go BR later this month, I am dreading it but I have no choice and I just want to get it over with.
This site is brilliant and has helped me so much, I don't feel so alone, no one judges you on here and you will get all the support you want. You haven't done anything that the OR hasn't heard before.
Good luck
Sandie |
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onwardandupward
Starting Member
1 Posts |
Posted - 02 January 2009 : 14:20:30
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hello soooo scared
like you i was very much in debt (100k) and i nearly had a break down with worry, was in a real mess, but i found once i had faced the problem (like you) it became much easier to sort, i struggled with an iva for 6 months and all i was doing was feathering the insolvency practitionors pockets amd then became bankrupt and everything looked a lot rosier, now 2 months in and i have got my life back and i would thoroughly recommend you go br as soon as possilbe and can only advise you be honest with the or who to me has been fantastic
and very helpful, good luck and make that appointment today!!
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Truth
