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helen_w5
New Member
79 Posts |
 Posted - 03 August 2009 : 10:37:36
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Please give me some advice on the depression side of bankruptcy. Basically after I filed I felt so relieved and enjoyed my week, but then the OR called to arrange the interview and although I've got nothing to hide - i've never gambled or anything like that, I think the call from him just made me see that this was a reality.
Well since that point - which was this Friday - I have pretty much fallen apart. I cant function. I feel like crying all the time. I look at people in the street and think to myself "i'm a loser compared to you"
Basically i'm on a downward spiral - I actually feel like suicide is an option - i dont think i can live with what ive done - i'm out of control. I cant sleep and i've not eaten for 4 days....
HELP..... |
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tiredandfedup
Starting Member
14 Posts |
Posted - 03 August 2009 : 10:43:53
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This happened to me last year and into this. I was made bankrupt in Feb. I had the same feelings in the weeks leading up to it and afterwards. But I went to my doctor and was immediately given very good help and support. I strongly recommend that you do this today. In my case I had problems going back some years which I had done nothing about. As soon as I grasped the nettle and went to the doctor I immediately began to be better because someone focussed on my problems completely unjudgementally.
You are not alone. Help is available. Take it. You are not a bad person. None of this reflects on you at all. Everyone needs support in this life at some point and the great thing is that it is there for you.
Please let us know today how you get on. |
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debtrider
Junior Member
494 Posts |
Posted - 03 August 2009 : 11:17:38
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Hi Helenw5
There are many many many people out there who go bankrupt for different reasons but life goes on. People cope with this in different ways and some are stronger then others. When I went bankrupt I did'nt see myself as a loser, and how do you know that people in the street are any better off than you.
You have done something about your debt problem and can look forward to a better debt free future. The interview with the OR will fly past and you say you have nothing too hide so it will be very straight forward.
Living a full life and friends and family are more important than worrying about debt, so suicide should never be an option.
Now you have got rid of your debt, life will get a lot better.
Just because you are banktupt does not mean you are criminal or a bad person. It just means you cannot afford to pay your debts and you have done something about it. There are lot of people out there in the same position so you are not alone.
Life can only get better from here.
All the best
debtrider |
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helen_w5
New Member
79 Posts |
Posted - 03 August 2009 : 13:43:29
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Thankyou all so much - it really does mean a lot to know that I am not being ridiculous and that everyone feels miserable to begin with.
Can someone please advise regarding the newspaper advert? Ive been told they dont do this anymore and i cant find any personal bankruptcies in my local paper - am i right in thinking that this has been stopped since April this year? I live in Berkshire if it makes any difference...
Thanks again |
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debtrider
Junior Member
494 Posts |
Posted - 03 August 2009 : 14:05:49
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Hi Helen w5
Glad you feel a bit better after getting some feedback.
Not sure about the newspaper advert. I am sure I have read some recently in the newspaper, but hey don't worry about that, hardly anyone ever reads them anyway. I only starting reading them when I went bankrupt.
There are a few sad people out there who read every inch of the newspaper, to see if anyones name crops up who they know.They seem to get great pleasure in other peoples downfalls.
It is no else's business if you go bankrupt so just ignore it. As I said you have not committed a crime or done anthing bad. You are quite within your rights to go bankrupt and it is not against the law.
All the best
debtrider
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helen_w5
New Member
79 Posts |
Posted - 03 August 2009 : 14:27:33
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| Thanks for your reply - I know you are right I just worry about my parents finding out - they are old school and will be so ashamed and disappointed |
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Jane.l
Average Member
511 Posts |
Posted - 03 August 2009 : 18:44:20
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I went bankrupt 2 years ago and have not told my parents, there is no need for them to know, IMO and there is no way for them to find out, my mum does not even have a computer |
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starboy
Starting Member
35 Posts |
Posted - 03 August 2009 : 18:55:50
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| Hope you are feeling a bit better.Am going b/r soon contacted the or office in blackpool. There told me from 5 april it wont go into your local paper |
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helen_w5
New Member
79 Posts |
Posted - 03 August 2009 : 19:00:43
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Thanks for all your replies.....
Next thing im panicking about is Nil tax code - will my boss know im BK? |
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sjbyron
Average Member
United Kingdom
746 Posts |
Posted - 03 August 2009 : 20:34:56
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Hi
This happened to me when I was sacked from work, I felt like I couldnt cope, and just wanted to drive off a cliff, I couldnt survive the debts or the IVA company hassleing me, so I spoke to my GP who diagnosed acute depression and anxiety, its a scarey road to slip down, and it is awful when your mind turns against you, but you will feel more relieved when you have spoken to the OR I felt exactly the same but I was only on the phone to her for 8 minutes its not to bad.
Speak to your GP, he may refer you to a specialist
We are all here for you.
Stu J Byron |
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sjbyron
Average Member
United Kingdom
746 Posts |
Posted - 03 August 2009 : 20:37:04
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Hi
With the NT Code its HM Revenues who initiate it, and inform payroll they dont say the reason why and there are many reaons why they use it, for example tax overpayment, etc
Stu J Byron |
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helen_w5
New Member
79 Posts |
Posted - 03 August 2009 : 20:38:01
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| Thanks for the post - also what happened regarding your nil tax code? Did your employer find out it was due to BK? |
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helen_w5
New Member
79 Posts |
Posted - 03 August 2009 : 20:44:46
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| Thanks sjbyron hopefully then I will be able to wing it and not get found out. I am a student and ive heard that students quite often get this nil tax code too.... |
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sjbyron
Average Member
United Kingdom
746 Posts |
Posted - 03 August 2009 : 20:50:07
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Hi because I was off sick due to depression I didnt get one, I however told my employer that I was planning on bankruptcy as I worked in Audit at the time and wanted to make sure I didnt have a conflict of interest going on.
Do you work all the time, if not, you could also complete form P38 which puts a freeze on tax for students too
I wouldnt worry about the tax code, just focus on getting better, you have took a brave step facing and dealing with your debts you should hold your head up high as their are so many people out there who are insolvent but cant face up to it
I am still off sick but planning to go back to University depending on whether the government will stop my benefits or not.
What are you studying by the way, if its the nursing/midwifery or the operations department diploma the bursary is counted as regular income too.
Best of luck and well done, keep posting we are all here for you
Stu J Byron |
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helen_w5
New Member
79 Posts |
Posted - 03 August 2009 : 20:56:59
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sjbyron thanks for your message.
I am studying spanish and teaching degree. Its great and I cant wait to go back to uni in Sept, I just hope that by then all this will be sorted and i will be able to concentrate on my studies.
I feel like a total failure for filing BK and as its only been a week I still cant get my head clear as to whether i have made a huge mistake and ruined my life.
All i want right now is to hide it from everyone. The OR has confirmed it wont be listed in the newspaper and briefly for like two hours i was so happy again but now i realise that the nil tax code may give me away again im feeling like quitting my job and running for the hills..... |
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sjbyron
Average Member
United Kingdom
746 Posts |
Posted - 03 August 2009 : 22:32:49
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Hi Helen
That sounds amazing Spanish and teaching, I would love to teach just havent got the brains for it.
You should hold you head up high and not hide you have tackled your debt proble and found the appropriate solution its a big plus and a big pat on the back to you.
Alot of people out there, and I was one of them, just hide their head in the sand and try all different things to hide from the inevitable you have done well and the hard part of having to face the judge is over.
Still speak to your GP though about the thoughts you have/had and also how you are feeling.
Best of luck
Stu J Byron |
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I actually feel like suicide is an option
