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frank-watkins
Starting Member
United Kingdom
10 Posts |
 Posted - 18 February 2009 : 15:26:15
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hello. i just joined here cos i dont know what else to do.
im a single father in my 30s.i live with my parents. i own nothing,no car,property..nothing..well obviously clothes some cd's a poxy tv and this pc.
i worked part time for 5 years,contracted only a couple of nights a week.i got a credit card,milked it,got another one milked it and so on..i was offered a loan at the bank when i was actually overdrawn! i took it right away, my money has gone on food drink,trying to enjoy myself and ofcourse giving my son all he wants since his mother is not interested.
i topped up my loan till it was 23k.. and i got 2 credit cards,one i owe 6500 on and another i owe 1500.
i am signed off work these days with severe anxiety,depression etc so my loan gets paid off since it was insured,how long this lasts i have no idea since i never read any letters from the bank or anyone else for that matter.
recently ive started gambling heavily aswell. so im down to my last few quid.
ive actually thought of just walking into a police station and asking them to arrest me since i know im in deep financial trouble yet i cant seem to do anything about it.im constantly in a bad mood,i enjoy nothing. i keep a happy face on most of the time so as not to let onto anyone else...my folks know nothing both are in their 60's and would drop dead if i told em how much i owed.
basically ive pissed my money up the wall trying to enjoy myself, y know expensive meals,drinking,going places, buying junk i dont need.
i have no idea how to declare myself bankrupt or even if im entitled too.im kinda just waiting till the last moment then.... to hell with it all. right now im at my lowest,my depressive state has cost me a long term relationship,i cant discuss any of my problems with anyone at all. im at the "i really couldnt care less" point.
society makes me sick to my stomach and i just want to be away from it.
im scared to even ask about being bankrupt since the idea of being surrounded by office types and going to court scares me to death. its hard enough for me to talk on the phone unless my medication has kicked in.
you know how im getting through each day?
im going to the bookies and hoping that i somehow win 30 grand.
and thats it....
if i could go to jail for say 6 months and come out debt free id gladly do it.life is totally meaningless.
help me if you can. thanks for reading my ramblings . |
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Robin55
New Member
United Kingdom
66 Posts |
Posted - 18 February 2009 : 16:14:45
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Firstly welcome to the forum.
I think you have done the right thing coming here and nobody thinks badly of you. There must be countless people in your situation!
The good news is, I genuinely dont think you could be feeling worse than you are now so the future is most definitely looking bright.
I'm sure bankruptcy is a viable option for you, possibly one that could completely change your life for the better and give you and your son a completely fresh start.
I would strongly recommend picking up the phone and speaking to one of the experts on this forum. The amazing thing is, they deal with people our situation (and worse) every day and nothing is new to them. I found it such a HUGE relief just hearing somebody on the end of the phone that wasn't judging me, just putting my mind at ease and offering countless positive advice.
If you can do that today I can almost guarantee that by this evening you will feel an enormous amount better!
Good luck and stay on the forum. :o)
RB |
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Melanie.n
forum expert
United Kingdom
1282 Posts |
Posted - 18 February 2009 : 16:23:58
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Hi there and welcome to the forum and in taking the first big step in recognising you have a problem.
I am more than willing to answer any query you may have on the forum or if you would prefer contact me (via 'experts on left hand side of the screen) and i will go through your full personal circumstances with you and come to a solution with you as to the best way forward. There is no commitments required nor fee - everything i do if free I just want to ensure everyone has access to free advice, if you require further assistance i can then recommend many fellow experts who will also do their best to help.
The best advice i can give you is that having taken the hardest step in recognising you have a probkem stick with it and try to sort it out, it won't go away!
Melanie Nicholas
28 years insolvency experience - 23 of which in the Insolvency Service
- Insolvency Manager
Jones Giles
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Niobe
Administrator
United Kingdom
4590 Posts |
Posted - 18 February 2009 : 16:34:54
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Welcome from me as well.
At the risk of you telling me to mind my own business, can I suggest that you get some help for your gambling problem as well?
You need to get that sorted as well.
The glimmer gets brighter all the time
Jan
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frank-watkins
Starting Member
United Kingdom
10 Posts |
Posted - 18 February 2009 : 17:38:49
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hi,thanks for the advice and support,the usual reaction i get is "you dickhead" if i mention how much i owe out.
as for the gambling,well that started a few months ago,i didnt even know how to fill in a betting slip when i walked in the bookies,now im there every day.
yesterday i drew out my loan-protection money since it arrived 2 days before it was due..i drew out 490 quid..i figured that i could at worst double my money and pay it back in... you guessed it, i had a very bad day.right now i got 50 quid left.the bank hasnt phoned yet, i dunno maybe i win tommorow... this is how its going,day in day out.
at first it didnt bother me, weather i won or lost my reaction was always the same... nothing.
thing will going bankrupt is that my folks will find out and i cant even be bothered to tell them anything,cos ill only get the usual "ive got enough on my plate" as if its there damn problem.i cant possibly tell them anything,its totally out of the question.
just hearing their voice does my head in. i stay in my room when im here,i cant stand the retorical nonsense.
also going to the citizens advice place is an absolute non starter.
the que is a mile long an hour before the place is open then they have like 2 people to deal with everyone.
my big worry about going bankrupt is i dont want suit and tie guys coming round to my folks house.i worry that they would taked their stuff.i dont keep reciepts or documents or anything, i have everything as minimal as possible, letters and papers are junk i throw away everything.
basically i cant go on one of these repayment plans,30k is still 30k.
i will never return to work since my mental state makes it practically impossible for me to look people in the eye.
to top it all off...im to have a stomach/bladder scan next week.
to be honest im hoping for the worst. then maybe people will leave me alone.
sorry for this again. |
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Niobe
Administrator
United Kingdom
4590 Posts |
Posted - 18 February 2009 : 18:02:48
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I know you feel that you are at rock bottomnow, but there is a solution out there for you, and not the one you are talking about.
I would telephone gamblers anonynous and talk to someone about your problem as you really do need help.
As regards bankruptcy, I think that you would probably have a BRU/BRO order made due to the gambling.
http://www.insolvency.gov.uk/pdfs/guidanceleafletspdf/bro.pdf
This page will tell you all about what that means.
The glimmer gets brighter all the time
Jan
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Skippy
forum expert
United Kingdom
3290 Posts |
Posted - 18 February 2009 : 18:30:00
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Hi and welcome from me as well.
First of all I'm sorry that you are feeling so low. There is a solution for you, it's just a case of finding it. Please don't bite my head off, but have you spoken to your GP about how you are feeling? I know you're signed off, but do they know just how bad you're feeling, and do they know about your gambling?
I would recommend that you speak to someone about your debts ASAP. Take Melanie up on her offer and give her a call - you've got nothing to lose by speaking to her.
If you were to go BR no-one will go to your house. You list your assets on the forms and it's taken on trust by the OR. Going to court isn't as bad as you think either - the staff treat you with compassion and understanding, and you might not even have to see the judge.
Please post again to let us know that you are ok, and if you have any questions please let us know and someone will be able to help.
Good luck x
Tomorrow is a mystery, yesterday is history, today is the present, a gift to make the most of.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.bankruptcyhelp.org.uk/
20 IPA payments made, 16 to go - on the home straight! |
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frank-watkins
Starting Member
United Kingdom
10 Posts |
Posted - 19 February 2009 : 09:21:19
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thanks again.
i checked my bank account last night, they took out the loan money anyway,and left me 500 quid overdrawn.
at least the loan is sorted out, but im still left with 8 grand on cards, and now 500 overdrawn.
my only solution right now is to go online and apply for more cards.today i cant face people and if the phone goes and its for me then i will make my excuse and hang up.
my doctor doesnt know about my gambling, i really dont want to tell people about it i dont want to go to some group therapy nonsense,the last think i need is to hear other people being as miserable as i am.
sorry im rambling again, i will try these helplines when i get the house to myself.
thanks again |
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Niobe
Administrator
United Kingdom
4590 Posts |
Posted - 19 February 2009 : 09:50:52
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Frank, why don't you try giving the Samaritans a ring? At least it will help to talk to someone and get it off your chest. Group therapy could be good for you - the people who go there will be quite positive as they are doing something about their gambling problem and you might find it will help.
Don't apply for anymore credit - you will just make things worse, and it will get to the state when you will be turned down.
Please seek help for your financial worries, at least that is a step in the right direction.
The glimmer gets brighter all the time
Jan
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Becs
Starting Member
United Kingdom
44 Posts |
Posted - 19 February 2009 : 21:30:24
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Hey 
For what its worth, I too am a single parent in my 30's and lived with my parents until recently, and although not gambling I've deluded myself for years to accrue the level of debt I have .... more than double what yours is. And I too, have booger all to show for it.
I was petrified of this process, but the advice on this forum has meant that I have not had to go it alone.
And neither do you.
Take up the offers of help ... even if just by messaging on this forum ... ask ANY question no matter how daft you think it is. The support provided here is awesome, and above all non-judgemental and accurate.
I guess we are all as different as snowflakes, but share many simularities in our experiences with debt.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.
Becs |
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Melanie.n
forum expert
United Kingdom
1282 Posts |
Posted - 20 February 2009 : 08:38:09
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We're all her to help Fank-wtkins - so ask away - between us we can find an answer to your problems and give you the support you need through the process.
Melanie Nicholas
28 years insolvency experience - 23 of which in the Insolvency Service
- Insolvency Manager
Jones Giles
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frank-watkins
Starting Member
United Kingdom
10 Posts |
Posted - 23 February 2009 : 14:56:58
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hi..thanks for the support. im gonna fill out those bankrupcy forms anyway and see what happens.
cheers |
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Niobe
Administrator
United Kingdom
4590 Posts |
Posted - 23 February 2009 : 14:58:12
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Good luck Frank. I hope you manage to get yourself sorted.
The glimmer gets brighter all the time
Jan
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Skippy
forum expert
United Kingdom
3290 Posts |
Posted - 23 February 2009 : 15:10:32
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Good luck - if you need any help please post and someone will know the answer x
Tomorrow is a mystery, yesterday is history, today is the present, a gift to make the most of.
View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.bankruptcyhelp.org.uk/
20 IPA payments made, 16 to go - on the home straight! |
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frank-watkins
Starting Member
United Kingdom
10 Posts |
Posted - 02 March 2009 : 13:15:07
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guess who just phoned me?
LOANS2GO !
I told him i was off work on the sick but he still wanted to give me a loan.
having put the phone down im VERY VERY TEMPTED to call back since my debts are so out of control now.
2 credit cards totalling 8 grand, minimum payments total 500 quid a month.
overdrawn,so i cant get any cash out of the machine.
ive borrowed 60 quid of my folks,60 off a mate.
i got 2 mobile bills (my sons and mine) tv/internet bill.
i got 14 quid in my pocket which i know will go in the bookies on rediculous outsiders just incase i win.
i cant wait till april for some option i heard that wipes out debts of upto 15K ...thats too far away.
also need to give my folks 300 quid for board money.
they dont know i have debts so i cant tell em i dont have it.
think i need to go totally bankrupt..to hell with it, ive been charged i think 4 times this month for overdrawing and returned direct debits.
how do i go about it...and i mean like right away.i cant wait any longer.
help if you can. |
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Melanie.n
forum expert
United Kingdom
1282 Posts |
Posted - 02 March 2009 : 13:23:40
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Hi there 'Loans 2 go' DON'T DO IT if you are going to file for bankruptcy in the near future, the last thing you need to do is incur more credit in the full knowledge that you cannot afford to repay it - you may end up with a BRO which will result in your bankruptcy being extended!! It is not worth it, get in touch with the courts and get hold of the forms and book a date for bankrupty, or if the debts are under £15k contact the CAB and make the appointment now ready to file a DRO - please do not incure more debt, it may seem a sensible option in the short term but it will definately not not help you in the long term!
Melanie Nicholas
28 years insolvency experience - 23 of which in the Insolvency Service
- Insolvency Manager
Jones Giles
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Topic |
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single father/no assets .i owe 30k!
